Feature: 6 franchises that should get a fighting game

On the contrary, I strongly believe that Afro Thunder deserves his own adventure game.

Perhaps it’s a guilty and fruitless pleasure, but we as nerds love to ask the question “What would happen if these two dudes fought?” I mean, who wouldn’t like to see Kratos in a fight to the death, mano-a-mano with some other bad ass? But quite frankly, cross-overs seem to be a bit of a legal hassle. Can you imagine Sony agreeing to put Sack Boy at the mercy of some schmuck who wants to see how bean bags react to the Master Chief’s fist? Yeah, it’s probably better that we restrict this list to collections of characters from the same game universe. Because when it’s Mario pounding Peach, it’s just hot profit-generating action and everybody’s happy.

But before I delve into the list of IPs that could support a fighting installment, let me first explain why these particular universes work. Oddly enough, a fighting game’s success seems to rely almost entirely on the personality of its characters. Tight and balanced combat obviously counts for something, but we can assume that if millions of dollars are being pumped into a AAA fighting game then its core mechanics are probably going to be just as satisfying as the competition. So what’s left to differentiate? I don’t mean to gloss over too much, but in my mind, it’s the cast of fighters. I prefer Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter to Dead or Alive or Virtua Fighter because of characters like Ken, Ryu, Sub-zero, and Scorpion. With that in mind, any series on this list has to have enough unique and dramatic characters to support a cast of fighters. I also tried to avoid games that already have experience in the fighting genre, so sorry, every Nintendo property ever, Super Smash Bros. has already got you covered. Now without further ado…

BioShock – Bet you’re thinking this one’s out of left-field, aren’t you? Is it really that crazy, though? 2K Games has already shown a gross disregard for the IP’s integrity with BioShock 2, so why not capitalize on the market of gamers dying to see Andrew Ryan beat Sophia Lamb’s face in with a golf club? The cast of charismatic individuals is huge–Ryan, Frank “Atlus” Fontaine, Brigid Tenenbaum, Sander Cohen, Dr. Yi Suchong, Dr. J.S. Steinman, Big Daddies, Little Sisters, and pretty much any character from an audio diary–and gamers would actually be interested in discovering more personal bits of their pasts. Oh, and plasmids give the perfect excuse for awesome fantasy attacks which would supplement the complex martial arts known to every resident of Rapture (you know, because they wanted to be prepared in case a CIA or KGB spook showed up). The city under the sea also makes for some great vistas and backgrounds while you bore a hole through Augustus Sinclair with a Big Daddy’s drill. I think you’re crazy if you don’t see the awesome in this. Well, either you’re crazy or you care what the franchise is supposed to be about and don’t want to see it so crassly commercialized. But you know how the saying goes–”If you can’t beat ‘em, and you can’t build a city on the bottom of the ocean, well then, you should probably join them!”

Gears of War – This one is a little harder to cut a roster out of simply because everybody that’s been characterized is on the same side. So let’s stop and think about this objectively for a moment. There are lots of muscles in the Gears universe. There are lots of tight clothes designed to show off said muscles. There is lots of yelling. There’s a healthy dose of bromance too. Do I really need to keep going, or is it clear by now that the Gears of War fighting game is going to be a tag-team pro-wrestling affair? Epic could put the series’ signature gore in there by giving the ring barbed wire ropes and spiked posts, and hell, why not make a cage match by surrounding the ring in Kryll-infested darkness? Chainsaws would obviously replace steel chairs. But everything else would be hot, sweaty, man-grappling action. Most of the characters in this franchise already have the inflated testosterone levels necessary to rile the redneck crowds up, and there’s enough diversity between Marcus, Dom, Baird, Cole, Tai, Dizzy, and the rest that audiences could find good guys and bad guys within the bunch. Everything starts out good with the Gears working together to dominate the Locust Federation, but then there would be a melodramatic betrayal and a new order would splinter from the original group. There’d be all sorts of suplexes and pile-drivers, choke-slams and clothes lines, overly elaborate moves with names that make them sound more painful than they are…It’d be great. And to top it off, Cliff Bleszinski is the ring-side announcer.

Grand Theft Auto IV – As you’ll notice, I’m actually narrowing this entry down to a sole installment in the infamous series, as each game just has too many great characters to pack into this fight-fest. To make all you whiners happy, I’ll say that protagonists from all the other entries in the series are unlockable characters. But anyways, this pitch is a little different than the first two, as the GTA fighting game would be more of a brawler than a traditional one-on-one fighter. I say this because I think wanton destruction of many faceless mooks champions the core spirit of the franchise and gives gamers a comfort zone to fall back on. So we’d play as Niko Bellic, wandering his way through the streets of Liberty City, kicking ass and taking names along the way. He’d have great one-liners like, “I need this!” and “Only in America!” Upon brawling our way through the streets of a level, we’d face a boss character in the traditional 2D fighter view. Each boss would be one of Niko’s “friends” from GTAIV, because all of their damn phone calls have finally driven Niko to violence. Brucie would clearly be the final boss, and we’d have to take down multiple health bars as he regenerates with shots of bull-shark testosterone.

Metal Gear Solid – I’ll be honest here–this game is the only reason I even made this list. Ever since I played through that epic Old Snake/Liquid Ocelot smackdown at the end of Metal Gear Solid 4, I just knew that this series needed a fighting installment. Every one of its characters oozes enough melodrama to make Snookie blush and everybody has washboard abs, even when they’re getting the senior discount on early bird specials. But seriously, Solid Snake, Liquid Snake, Solidus, Naked Snake, Old Snake, Big Boss, Boss, Raiden, Vamp, Johnny…the list of awesome characters goes on forever. And they’re pretty much all trained in some sort of brutal melee combat. Have Otacon drop special power-up items, have Colonel Campbell provide his wacky commentary, model every character’s fighting style after their abilities in the rest of the series…I could really see this working. And with Kojima-san’s cinematic flair guiding the project, it could actually prove to be a revolutionary entry in the genre that would set a new standard for jaw-dropping moments in a match. Kojima would find a way to cram every “wow” moment of a Hollywood slug-fest into this game and make it work, just like he did with the fight at the end of MGS4. Granted, there would have to be a little more freedom of movement and control over your character, but I feel like that same dramatized presentation could really be something unique in the genre. But really, you know Kojima could make some ridiculous-yet-enthralling story out of all this nonsense and we’d finally get to take control of Raiden and kick Vamp’s ass ourselves. Please make.

Resident Evil – Chris Redfield punches boulders. With his bare hands, dude. And he actually moves them! Have you seen the size of his biceps? Good Lord! Oh, and all of those other characters are pretty cool too. Some of them can burst into giant tentacle monsters at will. But seriously, rough-and-tough melee action between the many storied characters of this franchise, all set to atmospheric backdrops and with the occasional zombie dog jumping through a window to spice the match up? Sign me up, bro. The fact that Capcom has so much experience in the fighting genre only makes this that much easier. They’d know how to turn Ada Wong into a lethal femme fatale in the vein of Chun-Li. And since most great fighting games have a certain Japanese quirkiness to them, Resident Evil fits in perfectly.

To the death!

Wii Sports – It’s about time someone takes those damn Miis and declares that “There can only be one!” The only way to accomplish this avatar superiority within the family? Mortal combat. Aided only by the arsenal of equipment found in any team’s locker room, you and your friends beat each other to submission in this mature take on Nintendo’s cultural phenomenon. The extreme cuteness of the Miis calls for a level of violence so over the top that the game simply can’t be taken seriously. Nut job conservatives would have no choice but to laugh at Grandma’s Mii smashing Timmy’s head through a basketball hoop before slam dunking a tennis racket directly into his…well, the part of the Mii that Nintendo doesn’t have us customize. The developers would just have to make sure the motion controls don’t mimic real life too closely or some…issues could arise.

Author: Cody