Just kidding...

As I write this list, I’m coming to the cockle-warming realization that games are finally crafting the sort of narrative identities that don’t have to play second fiddle (or any fiddles, really) to those in other mediums. Most people will tell you that Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies are some of the best of the past decade, but Rocksteady’s Arkham Asylum and Arkham City offer equally compelling Batman experiences and are stories worth experiencing in their own right. Likewise for Rockstar’s stunning take on the wild west in Red Dead Redemption; there are few, if any, comparable Western narratives in the realm of film over the past ten years (though just for argument’s sake, The Proposition is pretty darn good).

Still, there have been plenty of excellent films since 2002 that don’t have respectable counterparts in video games, so I thought I’d make a list of ten that could serve as inspiring source material for all of those cinephile developers out there. By no means are these the ten best movies of the past decade; they’re just the ten that I think could make for the most interesting video games. Also, they can’t already have video game renditions on the market or in development (sorry, Inception). With that said, here’s the list!

Bad Lieutenant: Port Call of New Orleans
A bit of a dark horse choice perhaps, but if you’ve ever seen Werner Herzog’s tale of a ramblin’, gamblin’, coke-bingin’ detective striving to maintain his humanity in post-Katrina New Orleans, then you know that Rockstar could make a classic with this. I think that it’d be worth playing for the look at New Orleans alone (and all the clever satire the house that made Grand Theft Auto could bring with it), but I’d also be very interested to see Rockstar explore the nature of a dirty cop more thoroughly than their secondary characters have in the past.

Crank
Appropriately enough, this next game would be for the crowd that left GTA for Saints Row. This premise of this Jason Statham Action-romp is that “professional assassin Chev Chelios learns his rival has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops.” That means that adrenaline needs to be maintained at all costs–laws against public sex be damned! There’s really not much more to this than dropping the player in a sandbox and making sure that box is designed in such a way to keep the mayhem going. Obviously it’s not far off from what Saints Row already does, but I think that the adrenaline requirement could fundamentally alter Volition Inc.’s formula in some interesting ways.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I Bet you never thought you’d hear a video game pitch for one of the greatest romantic comedies of all time (you probably had your doubts about anybody classifying Michel Gondry’s classic as a rom-com too). But just think about it for a second; you play as somebody that’s having his memories of a particular person erased, and as you jump from level to level memory to memory, you realize that you need to take action to stop your horrible decision from obliterating the good with the bad. The game could explore more of Joel’s memories or it could introduce a completely new character, but the basic set-up for a moving, character-driven story with tons of environmental and artistic variety is there. As for the core gameplay, Puzzle-Platforming seems like a shoe-in, no?

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Sometimes you’d rather just have an artery-destroying White Castle burger than a healthy meal. The same goes for video games; instead of a serious social commentary or controller-breaking test of reflexes, certain occasions call for silly Action-Adventures fueled by pot, grease, and humor that’s so low-brow it might actually dip into the eyelashes. I’m seeing a sort of Asian-American stoner take on Zelda here if that makes any sense. But hey: it doesn’t need to with the glorious amount of Neil Patrick Harris we’ll be seeing.

Inglourious Basterds
Okay, so maybe Gearbox is already trying to do this with Brothers in Arms: Furious 4, but they’re doing it all wrong. Of course there’s going to be brutally visceral Natzi killing and offbeat humor to go with it, but the core of the experience should be your privilege as Lt. Aldo Raine to select your uniquely talented men. Individual allies would all have their own personalities and stories as well as abilities that could level up through use, not unlike combat units in XCOM. There could be all sorts of awesome set-piece missions involving rescue ops, sabotage, and assassination (what can’t these guys do?), and if you get three stars (of David–hey ohhhhh!) on every mission, then you could unlock a gallery of Tarantino’s best feet shots. No?

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 & Vol. 2
Maybe it’s just the gratuitous amounts of violence, but Mr. Tarantino’s work seems well-suited to our medium. This one’s even simpler than the last; you’re the bride, you have a katana, and you have enemies–lots of enemies. The members of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad make for natural bosses and that scene where you spend five minutes punching through a coffin and six feet of dirt would be riveting. Maybe not so much to that last part, but come on: katana? Yellow jumpsuit? Anime sequences?

Minority Report
Not only is this one of the best Science-Fiction films of the past ten years, it’s also one that makes for one heck of a video game. As a game, it’d probably adopt a traditional First-Person Shooter template with a lot of focus on set-pieces that take advantage of the mesmerizing future urban setting. Given Spielberg’s constant sense of inertia throughout the film, I could see DICE–with their experience on games like Mirror’s Edge and Battlefield 3–offering the best balance of exciting motion and set-pieces in the journey to find the precog who can prove your innocence.

Mission Impossible
With two movies in the past decade and four in the past 16 years, this is an IP that should be taken as a whole rather than isolating any one movie. Each entry in the series has its own unique flavor and brings with it its own memorable set-pieces, villains, and allies, so whether the game simply condenses each film into one experience or if it just draws on the movies for inspiration, there’s a ton of material to work with. I know that there have been Mission Impossible games in the sort of distant past, but nothing big enough to compete with Bond games. I think that needs to change, and given the relative awesomeness of each movie (in bits and pieces, mind you), it shouldn’t be hard to make a sweet Stealth-Action homage to Tom Cruise’s super-human running abilities.

Serenity
Do I really need to explain this one? Whedonites the world over have been clamoring for anything Firefly related for far too long, and I think the potential for a space-faring Western RPG is just too great to pass up. And no, Mass Effect doesn’t count because I don’t mean that kind of Western. It could take place after the events of the movie, thus giving players the opportunity to get to know some replacement crew members. Ideally, Whedon writes it and the new characters are just as interesting as our fallen idols of mystery and wittiness. Whatever the case, the Firefly universe is just so full of interesting characters, stories, themes, and places that to not have a game is just criminal. And you know there’d be at least one musical side quest.

Sin City
Okay, so take an unmistakable art style, gritty noir protagonists that have scores to settle, and lines like “You’re pushing sixty. You’ve got a bum ticker” and you’ve got a recipe for the sort of over-the-top action that’s so simultaneously epic and hilarious that your brain turns to goo at the mere sight of it. Sin City’s a big place with a lot of stories to tell and I’m sure that the graphic novel could help to expand the scenarios seen in the movie. MadWorld might have been a bit off the mark, but I can definitely see a studio like PlatinumGames nailing the tone and style of gameplay that this property deserves if they had the chance to work with Frank Miller himself.

And that’s my list. I’m sure that I’ve forgotten about a hundred movies that could work just as well, so I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Most of these will likely never be made, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t dream of some sort of divine adaptation of There Will Be Blood where I get to go online and drink everybody’s milkshakes. THHHEEEWWWWWWWWWP! I DRINK IT UP!

Share/Save

Like this, but with less athletic ability.

What if by some dark, unspeakable magics contractual obligations ceased to exist and every game developer in the industry was suddenly free to work with whomever he or she pleased? What if the stars aligned and money wasn’t an issue and a development “dream team” descended from the heavens? What would it look like? What would its name be? Could we even play one of Valizzard’s (working title) games without our minds exploding from the awesomenesss?

Before I begin this fantasy cast that will surely enrage more gamers than it satisfies, I would just like to state that I am fully aware of my personal biases; I tend to prefer First Person games of the immersive, ambient nature offered by studios like Valve; I’m also partial to Western titles in general, so there are many Japanese legends that didn’t find their way onto this list. It’s also terribly unrealistic to mash eighteen different visionaries together and expect anything cohesive to come out. Having said all that, this is the sort of thing that’s a lot of fun to imagine and I hope you enjoy my development team. And of course, I encourage everyone to share their own candidates in the comments.

Producer – Gabe Newell
We need someone to put the team together and make sure business goes smoothly, and I can’t think of a better person than the man behind the Half-Life, Portal, and Left 4 Dead franchises, just to name a few. Newell has an uncanny ability to spot fresh talent and nurture it (see: Portal, Left 4 Dead, Counter-Strike, Team Fortress), and he always puts the quality of the game before profit-driven deadlines. I trust him to deftly fill out all positions that aren’t detailed in this feature. I also trust him make sure that any dream games that get developed have the best marketing and distribution services available (thanks, Steam). But do I trust him to actually ever get the thing released…?

Creative Director/Lead Writer – Ken Levine
He may be young, but with titles like Thief: The Dark Project, System Shock 2, Freedom Force, SWAT 4, and of course, BioShock to his credit, there’s simply no denying Mr. Levine’s immense talents. There are precious few developers who understand the synergistic relationship of gameplay and narrative as well as he does and even fewer who are willing to tackle the thought-provoking subject matter he has made his name on in recent years. If I could pick anyone in the industry to craft a unique, artistic, and entertaining vision, I wouldn’t think twice about giving Big Daddy Ken (I sure hope that catches on) that position of authorship.

Assistant Director – Josh Weier
After recently reading Akira Kurosawa’s Something Like an Autobiography (totally recommend it), I’ve gained a special appreciation for an assistant director’s duties, even if Kurosawa’s realm is that of film. An AD is essentially a student that absorbs all of the director’s knowledge and wisdom while helping him or her with whatever needs to be done; an AD is just a director in waiting. So what young gun is capable enough to handle whatever Levine assigns him and bring his own ideas to the table in the process? Josh Weier, of course! You might not know his name, but you surely know his work. Hired by Valve in 2003, he’s worked on Half-Life 2, its episodic releases, and most recently, the Portal franchise. In fact, he just had the pleasure of experiencing his first Project Lead role–Portal 2. I’d say Weier has a bright future in front of him.

Lead Designer – Shigeru Miyamoto
And this is where things start to get weird. As Lead Designer, Miyamoto is responsible for developing fun and engaging gameplay systems within the universe established by the Creative Director. The problem is, the most influential man to ever work in video games is fundamentally different from just about everybody else on this list; he just isn’t that interested in telling mature stories. We hail his games as some of the best of all time, but they almost never come up as examples of “art in gaming.” But when we get right down to it, nobody comes close to Miyamoto in terms of designing pure fun. Since my ideal game is both thought-provoking and fun, I’m going to trust Miyamoto to come through yet again and do what he does best. His entire career has been defined by constant innovation, and I think that if he just gives a more serious setting a fair chance then he could not only develop fun game mechanics, but revitalize the bulletfests we’ve become accustomed to in “mature” games with something truly fresh. Shiggy’s the king, and there’s no denying that.

Lead Level Designer – Warren Spector
Once again showing that Miyamoto will be out of his comfort zone in this experiment, my Lead Level Designer gets picked specifically for his expertise in designing non-linear levels with objectives that can be solved in any number of ways. That Deus Ex design template couldn’t really be further from what Miyamoto traditionally does, but frankly, I don’t see much point in making a video game if the player’s unique position of agency isn’t taken advantage of. Interactivity should engage the mind and emotions as well as the reflexes, making a player’s freedom to approach any situation however he or she sees fit paramount.

Art Director – Tim Schafer
There are just a few extraordinary artists out there capable of designing distinct, lasting aesthetics, but there aren’t any as prolific as Schafer. His games might not always play like the cream of the crop, but everything he’s ever put his hands on comes to life with a sort of personality and individuality unheard of in our copy-cat medium. His work ranges from The Secret of Monkey Island to Grim Fandango to Brutal Legend (with much more in between), and if you’ve seen just one of those games, you know that Schafer can craft worlds with unparalleled creativity and originality. Now generally, those kinds of visual styles supplement silly or quirky narratives, but I have faith that the funny man will find the right balance of realism and fantasy for a more serious story.

Lead Character Artist – Yoji Shinkawa
A team of this caliber simply won’t settle for some generic space marines, so that’s why Shinkawa (of Metal Gear Solid fame) will be brought in to work with Levine and Schafer on distinct, engaging character design. A character’s appearance can reveal more about him than his dialogue in some cases, and that’s why Shinkawa’s considerable talents will be needed to truly elevate this character-driven experience.

Lead Programmer – John Carmack
The man charged with bringing Schafer’s artistic vision to life is none other than id’s John Carmack–a guy whose supernatural gift for programming has been pushing technological boundaries for over twenty years. People get real worked up over Crytek’s Crysis (and rightfully so), but pretty much every game Carmack has released in his career (Wolfenstein 3D, Doom, Quake, all of their sequels, and most recently Rage) has raised the bar for graphical fidelity. In fact, he’s even pushed into the mobile game market with great success as of late, developing an adaptation of Rage that rivals the level of detail found in this console generation’s earlier games. The best part is that you know you’ll always be getting 60 frames per second with Carmack and that all of that silky smooth action is going to look beautiful in the process. The man is a technical genius.

Lead Animator – Michael Yosh
When looking back on games that have stood the test of time visually, animations might actually hold more weight than pure graphical horsepower. In order to ensure that our game has the best animations possible, Naughty Dog’s Michael Yosh will be responsible for imbuing friends and enemies’ movements with the grace only found in Uncharted games. There just aren’t any other titles out there with such attention to detail, and consequently, few characters feel as distinctly human as Nathan Drake. In a game where Levine will surely be exploring themes of humanity, that visual connection couldn’t be more important.

AI Lead – Jeff Orkin
Ah, yes: the job that’s always overlooked by gamers and developers alike. Yet some argue that artificial intelligence is the single most important aspect of making a fun, challenging game. But because so few people share this outlook, there just aren’t many examples of AI that truly grabs gamers’ attention (well, other than bad AI). The one title I can think of in all my years of gaming that really wows me with how good the AI is is Monolith Production’s F.E.A.R.. It may have released all the way back in 2005, but it’s still used as a point of reference for AI combat behavior. At the time, enemies’ ability to take cover, flank, and even make their own cover by manipulating the environment was revolutionary; the AI is so good that it fundamentally affects the gameplay. Orkin was in charge of designing that astounding AI, and he’s the man I want on my team.

Lead Audio Designer – Stefan Strandberg
This position often goes overlooked when evaluating what makes a game great, but authentic, interesting sound effects can truly suck you into a game world more than visuals when done right. Strandberg is the head audio man at development studio DICE, a team known for the exceptional aural qualities of its Battlefield games.

Composer – Marty O’Donnell
Audio designers frequently handle a game’s score as well, but there are instances of a separate composer taking charge of that responsibility. When thinking of the most memorable and effective scores in video games, only a few names consistently come to mind; Marty O’Donnell–Bungie’s musical overlord–is one of them. The Halo games have always have exciting soundtracks that compliment and amplify the action perfectly, but it’s O’Donnell’s versatility and boldness that earn him his spot on this list. Halo 3: ODST might not have set the world on fire, but its noir-inspired compositions garnered universal praise and unquestionably establish a tone that I don’t see very often in video games. I’d love to see Marty branch out even more and mix his orchestral pieces up with some more unorthodox sounds, and I think that’s just what he’ll do as a part of this team.

Voice Actors – Nolan North, Jennifer Hale
You can have the best writing in the world, but if your voice actors can’t deliver their lines with conviction then players will want to skip every conversation in the game (take a tip, Bethesda). As much as I hate to put even more voice actors out of work by placing Nolan North in the last .01% of video games he hasn’t worked on, there just isn’t anybody with as much range or talent as Mr. North (Uncharted series, Batman: Arkham City, Assassin’s Creed series, just to name a few of his works). Mrs. Hale’s body of work is just as diverse, with the Metal Gear Solid and Mass Effect series headlining her many credits. If need be, these two could probably do every voice in the game without anybody noticing.

Cinematic Director – Hideo Kojima
Ideally, this game won’t have any cut-scenes to speak of. But at the same time, I think that games like Half-Life 2 may as well have cut-scenes if they’re going to lock you in a room with nothing to do while NPCs give exposition for five minutes. The best possible solution would be for everything to occur in-game, but to put Kojima in charge of giving those boring exposition segments some cinematic flair. I’d have no problem temporarily sacrificing control for the sake of a dramatic camera angle or something unexpected and awesome to happen. Nobody does cut-scenes better than Kojima, and he’s even begun to innovate in ways that merge cut-scene and gameplay (the split-screen segments in MGS4). I’m very interested to see what kinds of methods he will employ to garner some in-game drama between North and Hale.

Multiplayer Design Lead – Cliff Bleszinski
A lot of people are irked by Cliffy B’s dude-bro attitude and can’t stand the meat-heads of Gears of War. Too bad for them. Before Bleszinski became a megastar with Gears, he brought the ultra-fast, over-the-top Unreal Tournament series to prominence. He then promptly forged one of the most unique multiplayer experiences this generation with Gears and has refused to let other Shooters dictate his design decisions. Both franchises he’s responsible for are radically different multiplayer experiences with hardcore followings and I have no doubt that he’s up to making yet another fresh experience. But what really secures his position here is an equal attention to cooperative gameplay, as Gears‘ Horde and Beast modes have changed what we expect of multiplayer gaming. He’s a young, up-and-coming innovator that knows how to design fun multiplayer gameplay, and that’s just what he’ll do for this team.

Lead Boss Designer – Fumito Ueda
For some reason, this position simply doesn’t exist in game development–at least based on the research I’ve done. It’s no wonder then that boss fights are generally the weakest part of a game. But that won’t be the case with whatever this studio makes; there will be one expert charged with designing fun and challenging boss fights that capitalize on everything the player has learned in interesting ways. And if you’ve ever played Shadow of the Colossus, then you know that there’s nobody more expert than Ueda. But the real trick to his success is his ability to make his bosses an emotional challenge. There’s no point in writing engaging characters if their climatic moments amount to frustrating patterned confrontations that are there for the sake of being there. Ueda is capable of using epic gameplay sequences and mechanics toward effective emotional resolution. In short, he’s pretty boss at making boss fights.

Lead Tester – Bethesda…ha! Just kidding. Valve or Blizzard
Believe it or not, there aren’t a lot of individuals known for their quality assurance prowess. That’s probably because the good ones quickly advance up the ladder and into other fields of development. So let’s just assign Valve or Blizzard’s QA team as a whole to testing; the game might take longer to release, but it’ll be technically flawless when it does.

And that’s the team. There are countless other developers that I would have liked to include, but I just feel like this team represents the best of the best. Still, I’d love to see some of the following names hired on in supporting roles:

Zafer Coban (Animator), Akira Yamaoka (Composer), Casey Hudson (Designer), Goichi Suda (Designer), Hideki Kamiya (Designer), James Ohlen (Designer), Patrice Desilets (Designer), Peter Molyneux (Designer), Shinji Mikami (Designer), Todd Howard (Designer), Tyson Green (Multiplayer Designer), Robin Walker (Multiplayer Designer), Greg Zeschuk & Ray Muzyka (Producers), Tim Sweeney (Programmer), Dan Houser (Writer), Erik Wolpaw (Writer), Marc Laidlaw (Writer)

Make me Creative Director! With this team, I can finally deliver on what I promise!

I’d love to hear if I missed anybody. Go ahead and dream!

Share/Save

I’d say GameSpot has got most of them covered here, although there are a few I’d add. And by a few I mean 14…

There’s Dishonored–a steam-punk FPS from the creative minds behind such classics as Deus Ex and Half-Life 2; there’s also The Last Guardian and all of its Fumito Ueda goodness; we can’t forget about Kid Icarus: Uprising on the 3DS; and while it hasn’t officially been announced yet, we all know that Assassin’s Creed III is coming this holiday; but far more exciting than that is the triumphant return of Lara Craft in the Tomb Raider reboot; then there’s good old fashioned cooperative fun in Borderlands 2; but if you’re more of a solo guy then Hitman: Absolution should be right up your alley; and speaking of alleys, I imagine we’ll probably run for our lives through one or two in Naughty Dog’s The Last of Us; if you’re more interested in the apocalypse than the post-apocalypse, then the alien invasion in Tactical FPS XCOM is looking good; if worst comes to worst and all video game apocalypses combine for a super apocalypse, then bad ass cyborg Raiden might be able to take a break from Metal Gear Rising: Revengence to show everybody his chops; but hey, maybe you like to do all of the sick stuff usually reserved for cut-scenes, in which case the incredibly fast and fluid Prey 2 might be more to your liking; keeping with the theme of awesome FPS action, we need look no further than Far Cry 3; but maybe all of that shooting’s got you feeling blue and the only cure is an innovative downloadable Survival title by the name of I Am Alive; or perhaps, like me, you’re so overwhelmed by the awesomeness that is going to be 2012 that all you can do is focus on the earliest taste of that sweetness–the console version of one of 2011′s best games, The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings.

So there certainly seems to be a lot to look forward to…at least if the all-powerful being that is Skyrim decides to show your pathetic mortal soul some mercy by releasing you from its terrible hold in order to see what feelings of amusement your withdrawal might offer.

Share/Save

Another year, another reflective diary entry on how many social opportunities I sacrificed for video games…wait, that’s not right! No: this is a celebration of what has probably been the best year of games since 2007. So let’s get down to business and start with the InsaneBear tradition of looking back on the previous year’s games and re-evaluating our opinions in hindsight.

As infallible as I’d like to think my criticism is, time has mellowed my venom toward two titles–Alan Wake and Red Dead Redemption. The first is an incredibly atmospheric game with interesting and unique characters, but its gameplay isn’t nearly as innovative as the developers would have you believe. In fact, it really lacks variety and struggles to separate itself from other Third Person Shooter formulas. That said, I’ve amended Alan Wake from a score of “Mediocre” to “Meh.” As for Red Dead, it’s a great Rockstar game, which is a bit of a back-handed compliment if you know me; the game world might be the most immersive I’ve ever occupied and the writing rivals that of Hollywood’s best films, but the game half of the equation is riddled with too many problems to be excused. But looking back, Rockstar’s faithful recreation of the wild west and its majestic vistas is memorable enough to move on up from “Meh” to “Good.” Still, none of these changes affect InsaneBear’s

2011 2010 Game of the Year – In my opinion, Halo: Reach has only pulled further away from the next closest competitor, BioWare’s Mass Effect 2. I have played XBLA Puzzle-Platformer Limbo since last year’s awards and that enters the debate for its haunting visuals, devilishly fun puzzles, and being one of the best examples of how to tell a meaningful story using the strengths of the video game medium, but there’s really no question in my mind that Reach was the best gaming experience of 2010. I think that the level of customization that’s not only present, but actually encouraged in its finely tuned multiplayer modes will be remembered for years to come. The campaign is really solid, but it’s the love-letter to that split-screen gamer hiding deep in our hearts that makes Reach the pinnacle of multiplayer FPSs on consoles, even today. I can’t write about this game without wanting to put a LAN together.

Now let’s stop reminiscing about 2010 and reminisce about 2011 with our ten GotY candidates instead. It is the great pastime of gamers, after all…

Bastion – Every year there’s at least one downloadable game that combines the daring indie mentality with AAA presentation and gameplay for a truly memorable experience, and Supergiant Games’ debut title is just that. With some of the most artistically impressive visuals and audio of any game this year and deceivingly simple Action-RPG combat to go with a tightly written story about the cost of progress, Bastion has stuck with me like Limbo or Braid–that is to say, more than most big budget retail games.

Batman: Arkham City – Drawing on the strengths of its predecessor–one of 2009′s best games–this follow-up to Batman: Arkham Asylum improves on the best melee combat in video games, sets it in a chillingly authentic open-world slice of Gotham, and lets you glide around with the ease and excitement of Spider-man 2‘s web slinging. And is it possible to watch those divine combat animations without hailing the developers at Rocksteady as gods among men?

Dead Space 2 – Horror games seem to be a bit of a dying breed lately, and while Dead Space 2 is a little more action oriented than its superb predecessor, the shrieks and gurgles of disfigured necromorphs lurking in the dark certainly qualify as scary in my book. But what really sets Visceral Games’ second effort apart this year are the heart-pounding set-pieces, breathtaking lighting effects, and fantastically paced upgrades that give a great sense of progression. Oh, and the man vs. monster multiplayer is wicked fun.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Few games in this generation of linear, set-piece driven Action romps offer the kind of choice and freedom found in Eidos Montreal’s Deus Ex prequel. Building off of its predecessors’ design principles, nearly every obstacle in Human Revolution can be approached from multiple schools of play, meaning every player’s Sci-Fi adventure should be satisfyingly different, whether they’re a stealthy spook, a silver-tongued fox, or a cyborg bad ass that punches through walls. A distinct visual aesthetic and score help this game to stand out as especially unique in this copy-cat age of gaming.

Gears of War 3 – The series that has defined the Xbox 360 since its inception in 2006 concludes with this monument to multiplayer mayhem. Four player campaign co-op, five on five competitive matches that feel different from every other Shooter on the market, a Tower-Defense evolution of the super addictive Horde mode, and a Beast mode that puts you in the hulking flesh of berserkers and corpsers to smash the living daylights out of the COG all add up to the funnest Gears in the franchise. Plus, it’s all packed into one of the best looking games on the 360.

L.A. Noire – Like most other Rockstar games, this seedy trip through the corruption of 1940′s L.A. features some of the most authentically developed characters and dialogue in video games. The open world does a very good job of establishing the time and place and manages to make you feel like a real detective in the process. Reading suspects’ faces in interrogations isn’t always easy, but it’s a unique mechanic that puts Noire‘s superb facial animations to practical use and sets it apart from the run ‘n’ gun of most other games these days.

Mortal Kombat – Fighting games don’t always get the recognition they deserve from the masses, but this latest entry in the Mortal Kombat series is accessible enough for anyone to enjoy while also offering a good dose of nostalgia for veteran fans. The violence has been raised to comical levels (or nausea-inducing, depending on your sensibilities), and the campaign is so much deeper and more developed than anything else the genre has ever seen that this will inevitably become the bar which other Fighters are measured against. Then of course there are the hundreds of off-the-wall Challenge Tower trials and the always fun split-screen matches.

Portal 2 – It’s hard enough to live up to the standard of a classic, genre-defining predecessor, but this sequel surpasses its parent game in almost every way. Thinking with portals is as fun as ever, but Valve adds a half dozen new tools to solve puzzles with, and the end result is a much more varied and fresh game that still gives a mental challenge more rewarding than just about any other. Throw in a thrilling story with the likes of Cave Johnson, potato-GLaDOS, and Wheatley and you’ve also got one of the funniest, most well written narratives in video game history. Oh, and there’s co-op that actually complicates the fundamental gameplay in a significant, yet logical way.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (review pending) – Bethesda’s triumphant return to Tamriel is the sort of technical marvel that will be remembered for years to come. It has unquestionably changed what’s expected of open world games with an unbelievable variety of environments and dungeons that are quite literally jaw-dropping in their beauty, an organic ecology of wildlife ranging from rabbits to dragons, and the freedom to approach its living world however you so choose. And it’s all served with a healthy side of engaging story, whether you find it in the main quest or one of the dozens of meaty side quests.

Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception – The masters of cinematic set-piece action brought us a fiery chateau, a capsizing cruise-liner, and a 20,000ft in-flight cargo plane evacuation among other things in 2011, and somehow Nathan Drake managed to overcome more internally bruised organs than we ever thought possible to still get a few quips in. Co-op and competitive fisticuffs round the package out.

Honorable Mentions – Games that I should have played but didn’t…

Battlefield 3 – Fully destructable buildings and vehicular combat make this the cream of the Military Shooter crop.

Catherine – Trade in your guns for Cupid’s arrow in this mature exploration of romantic relationships and an everyday guy’s struggle with infidelity. Surreal nightmare puzzle sequences allow for metaphorical conflict resolution–something that Western developers can’t seem to wrap their heads around.

Dark Souls – By being the most challenging game of 2011, the sequel to RPG Demon’s Souls is consequently its most rewarding. It’s also graced by a distinct visual style and unique, weighty combat.

LittleBigPlanet 2 – If you can think it, you can do it in Sackboy’s user-generated playground. Advanced level creation tools allow for sampling in various genres, and you can even direct your own cut-scenes. Adorable audio and visuals pair with quality platforming to satisfy the less creative gamers out there.

Minecraft – It’s debatable how much of a game this actually is, but one thing is for certain, and that’s how fiendishly addictive gamers are finding the indie hit’s creation tools to be. Few games offer the power to forge whatever deranged fantasy world you want to.

Rayman Origins – An absurdly zany art direction and four player local co-op team with some of the most intensely satisfying platforming in years to finally offer an alternative to Nintendo’s stranglehold on the genre.

Star Wars: The Old Republic – It hasn’t even been out long enough for any proper critical opinions to surface, but the impression seems to be that by staying true to the KotOR name and focusing on story and character development above all else, BioWare’s MMO could have what it takes to compete with World of Warcraft in 2012.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword – It’s looking like Nintendo’s Wii U will release in 2012, meaning that Skyward Sword could very well be the Wii’s swan song. Thankfully, it’s got everything you’d expect from a Zelda game and uses Wii Motion Plus for sword fights that are more precise than anything the system has seen before.

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings – A dark, mature narrative that branches with more consequence than anything BioWare could ever hope to deliver is complimented by mouthwatering visuals and combat. This is the one game on this list that I want to play most; thankfully, it will be releasing on consoles in early 2012.

To the Moon – Without exposure on XBLA or PSN, To the Moon is one of those “indie indie” games that most people have never heard of. And while it leans more toward interactive fiction than an actual video game, the tale it weaves could be the most moving of the year. It just goes to show that photo-realism isn’t the key to engaging, emotional stories that get the tears rolling.

And now for some games that are especially memorable for different reasons…

Brink – Brink had a lot of cool ideas. Unfortunately, those ideas were so poorly executed that this was the first game I ever failed to finish reviewing after starting. Here: take a look at how far I got before the PTSD kicked in.

Score: Bad
Difficulty played on: Normal
Time to beat: 6 hours
Platforms: Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Loved the most: Objective-focused gameplay.
Hated the most: It is broken in every sense of the word.

Seamless integration of single-player and multiplayer, parkour-style mobility with a gun in your hand, class-based gameplay with a defining focus on player customization: these were the things promised by Brink, an FPS with intentions of shaking the stagnant genre up. Had developer Splash Damage succeeded in executing all of those grand ambitions, Brink would be far greater than the Team Fortress 2 rip-off many have labeled it as. Unfortunately, those foundational ideas are executed so poorly in the final product that it truly doesn’t even deserve the comparison. Brink is a game that’s so utterly broken that it’s hard to even imagine what the original vision was supposed to culminate in. All that can be known for sure is that this is not a fun game and there is no redeeming value to justify your time or money here. Brink is a bad game.

Duke Nukem Forever – Quite simply the single worst video game I have ever played. Don’t believe me? Just watch Ryan and I endure its crapitude in the last episode of Let’s Finish where innocence and happiness still existed in our virtual worlds.
Warning: watching Duke Nukem Forever may lead to feelings of extreme depression, and in rare cases, thoughts of suicide. Proceed at your own risk.

Stacking – I still remember the day I realized that Double Fine isn’t an endless factory of laughter and joy…it broke my heart.

But enough with the negative: let’s look to the good in 2011 with our official awards. With more and more HD remakes and remasterings coming out every year (totally thankful for that, by the way) I figure it’s high time we get a category to pay tribute to the year’s best. Some of these games are good enough to compete for Game of the Year, but I reckon that would be a little unfair, considering they’ve already had their shots. So let’s kick things off with InsaneBear’s

Best Remakes/Remasterings of 2011

Beyond Good & Evil HD – It doesn’t really add anything new to the original, but if you’ve never played that, $10 is a small price to pay for one of the best Action-Adventure games of all time.

Ico & Shadow of the Colossus HD Collection (review pending) – Shadow of the Colossus is widely hailed as one of the best games of all time not only for its artistic and introspective narrative but for its thoughtful, minimalist approach to game design. It’s a game that anybody who takes games seriously should play. Ico is the game that came before it–the game that Team ICO made its name with (har har). Finding an affordable copy of this cult classic in the West was a tall task before this must have collection hit store shelves.

Metal Gear Solid HD Collection (review pending) – The original Metal Gear Solid is inexplicably missing, but with MGS 2, 3, and Peace Walker all receiving graphical upgrades, as well as control overhauls and more developed online features for the last two respectively, this is a collection that no MGS fan should miss. Peace Walker is an especially nice inclusion given its limited exposure on the PSP.

Best Biceps of 2011 – This was a tough year with a lot of competition for the title. We had the always ripped Batman flexing his goods for thugs and goons across Arkham City; there was the Cole Train chugging around the ole Thrashball field in Gears 3; and we can’t forget the mighty power of Goro’s many biceps and their penchant for literally tearing dudes in half in Mortal Kombat. But in a year like this, it seems like the right thing to do is to fall back on a classic–The Duke. Mr. Nukem might act like a thirteen-year-old boy, but he’s got the pipes of Hulk Hogan in his prime. He’s also got the in-game steroids to prove it.

Most Serenading Voice of 2011 – You know, when I throw these wacky “next year awards” out at the end of every year, it’s meant to be more of a joke than a serious category. But surprisingly, I didn’t even have to think about the winner of this special recognition. I can listen to Zia from Bastion‘s crooning ballads like Duke Nukem can pound beers on the fourth of July. Listen for yourself and let her song take you away.

Game of the Year Runner-Up – The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

2011 Game of the Year – Portal 2
Skyrim is a very close second (very close), but in the end, Bethesda’s open world is a very flawed masterpiece; Portal 2 on the other hand, is one of the most fundamentally flawless games I’ve ever played. It’s accessible to everyone; it’s both funny and engaging on a narrative level; the gameplay has the proper balance of challenge and reward; and most importantly, it’s paced so perfectly that I can’t think of a single moment in the campaign where I got bored. Portal 2 is a game that developers of all genres should be studying for a better understanding of game design in general.

And that’s another year in the books–and a damned good one at that. The best part is that 2012 is looking just as good. If we take just a second to look past all the copy-cat Shooters out there then it’s clear to see that we’re living in a golden era for video games. Perhaps the Wisest Character of 2012 will tell us just how good we have it at the end of next year.

Share/Save

First off: no Mario games. We all love Nintendo’s main man, but I could list off the good plumber’s titles ’til the cows come home, and I don’t have any cows…so that might go on for a while. Also, all entries come from this generation of consoles, because frankly, my entire list would consist of GoldenEye otherwise. So with that said, how can you get your gaming fix this holiday season with all manner of trash talking siblings, rambunctious cousins, and overly curious aunts and uncles scurrying around the house?

Blur – These days, it seems like split-screen racing has become a thing of the past. Thankfully, this under-the-radar Arcade Racer offers the kind of nitrous-infused mayhem that the big names have relegated to the online realm, from the comfort of a crowded living room couch. While the local multiplayer might not have all the goodies of the online experience, it still allows for up to four players to unload missiles on each other at dangerously high speeds. Is there ever a time when power-up/weapon based racing isn’t fun? Oh, right: when your sister steals your controller from you right before the finish line and spends the rest of the night telling the whole family how you got beat by a girl…

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 – Unfortunately, there aren’t any split-screen competitive modes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a romping good time in Spec-Ops. Grab a friend and strap in for hours of the kind of hardcore challenge that most games just don’t offer any more. There’s always the possibility that Grandpa will want to start telling war stories and put a bit of a damper on your virtual fun, but that’s a risk worth taking for such a finely tuned and varied co-op experience.

Dance Central – Even the mythical powers of eggnog can’t get some family members on the dance floor. But if you call it a video game, then all of a sudden Uncle Jack will have no problem humiliating himself in the name of some friendly competition. And with more popular tracks than the techno fare of Dance Dance Revolution and the novelty of full-body motion controls to boot, Kinect’s crown jewel probably has a little more appeal for all those fun-loving family members who have mysterious mid-winter tans. Give them some Santa hats, a few drinks to go with the sugar cookies, and sit back while relatives of all ages and genders make fools of themselves. Just pray that nobody stumbles into the tree.

Gears of War 3 – Assuming that you have at least a few visitors that can manage to play a Shooter without whining about how disorienting two analog sticks are, then Gears is surely a good choice. Even if every player isn’t a lead-spitting phenom of death, the myriad of co-operative modes should allow you to pick up the slack so everybody can have a good time. It might be a little on the violent side, so perhaps it’s not the best choice if little ones are going to be running around, but there is a gore filter; just slap that baby on and tell little Susie that the berserkers in Beast mode are simply hugging all of the tiny humans they love so much.

Halo: Reach – For the more competitive-minded gamers in the family, Halo‘s latest offering features the finest four player split-screen you’ll find in any game this generation. The level of customization you can bring to any given match is nothing short of mind-boggling, and it’s easy to set up too. There should be no problems establishing the proper handicaps to make the action fun for everyone, and with off-the-wall game types like Rocket Race, nobody ever will want for variety. Oh, and if playing armchair game designer on the dozen plus maps that shipped with the game isn’t good enough for your more creative friends and family, just start up a game in the Forge and let him or her alter the level as you play. That’ll certainly help with cousin Kyle’s God complex…

Left 4 Dead 2 – If the cooperative demands of Gears just aren’t intense enough for your holiday homies (or if you suffer the misfortune of blood relation to a zombie freak), Valve’s Survival-Horror Shooter should do the trick. The combat is ultra fast and positively requires teamwork, but few experiences bond a family quite like escaping hordes of salivating undead whilst Dad contemplates the phrase “So, Sis: I heard that they hired you to do the motion-capture for the spitters.”

Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga – The gameplay is simple and easy to pick up, but offers a surprising amount of depth for such a family friendly title. The second player can drop in or drop out at any time, so if somebody’s not feeling the prequels, they can go watch A Wonderful Life and come to the realization that life’s too precious to be so cynical. Meanwhile, the rest of the family can take turns enjoying the entire Star Wars saga, playing Star Wars trivia games when they’re not on the console, and drinking cold beverages with the help of some Han Solo ice cubes. Families are cool like that, right?

Little Big Planet 2 – The adorable art style is sure to draw in your more apprehensive gamers, and the AAA platforming and level-creation tools will keep the more hardcore interested. Supporting up to four local players, the sample platter of genres on display in Media Molecule’s latest is sure to be a blast of of cooperative hooting and hollering. It’ll also give you an excuse to call your brother “Sack boy.”

Madden NFL 2012 – Of course you’ll all be watching the Green Bay Packers continue their march to perfection against Da Bears on Christmas day, but the glory of that beatdown can’t last forever, can it? Thankfully for the less fortunate fans out there, EA has graced us with yet another hopes and dreams simulator. Get everybody to pick their favorite team and set up a good old fashioned tournament where Aunt Kelly can finally earn some bragging rights for the Bills. There are sure to be some obscenities shouted, and maybe a controller or two will get thrown, but Mom knows that common manners go away during football time.

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe – A fighting game simply had to show up somewhere on this list; it was only a matter of which game could satisfy your biological desire to destroy your siblings while also appealing to the less seasoned gamers and not appalling half the room with decapitations and X-ray mutilations. Comic book characters should hold some appeal for the less nerdy participants (Hollywood has just gone too far!), and if you have to choose between Marvel and DC, there really isn’t much of a choice; Batman and The Joker are just that awesome. So pass the controller around and get to the bottom of all those “Who would win in a fight between…?” questions. If that’s not in the Christmas spirit, then I don’t know what is.

Portal 2 – Finally, a game that will convince your parents that your brain isn’t rotting away! Whether you’re hard at work in the co-op campaign or just letting the room shout out tips for your single player puzzling, Valve’s monument to edutainment is sure to turn some heads get everybody involved. Just be warned that GLaDOS might not make many friends if you’ve got any adopted folks around…or fat folks…

Rayman Origins – This game has been described as what New Super Mario Bros. Wii should have been. That should tell you something. The zany art style is sure to enchant anybody in the room into watching up to four players speed through masterfully designed levels as they collect all manner of doodads and fight off monstrous and imaginative bosses. Oh, and you can slap your fellow players. That’s fun for all ages.

Rock Band 3 – It might not feature “Rockin’ around the Christmas tree,” but that’s surely what will happen when you bust out the guitar, bass, drums, keys, and mics for some 100% Natural Good Time Family Band action. The playlist is massive and stretches across decades and all kinds of genres, so everybody will find something they like. You might get some real musicians mocking your fun from the dark corners of the room, but everybody else will be having a rocking good time.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves – If you absolutely must play a single player game while the family’s around, Skyrim probably won’t go over too well. But Drake’s second outing–the highlight of the series–is so excitingly cinematic that Mom, Dad, and anybody else in the house might actually enjoy watching you play. It’s that good. And who knows: maybe all of those collapsing buildings and speeding trains will convince somebody to take a crack at the co-op with you.

WarioWare: Smooth Moves – I know I said earlier that I wouldn’t include any Mario games, but I think we can let a cameo or two slide considering how different his nemesis’ titles are. With hundreds of “micro-games” that last just a few seconds, there’s a sense of urgency to WarioWare that the best team boardgames have mastered. The ridiculous amount of micro-games also means that you’ll be using the Wii-mote in more creative ways than you ever thought possible, but it’s always intuitive enough for non-gamers to pick up. It’s certainly a little stranger (okay, a lot) than most party games, but that’s what makes it so fun.

And that’s that. If you can’t manage to have some video gaming fun over the holidays with this list, then you need to find a new family. I think that’s how The Sims actually got started.

Share/Save

Concept Art - Muted realsim that progressively gives way to colorful stylization as the action gets hotter.

Introduction: K.I.A. is a Tactical Modern Military First-Person Shooter that seeks to explore the human cost of war through a morally ambiguous narrative and gameplay mechanics that reflect your character’s emotional state in varying degrees of exaggeration. Stepping into the boots of Private Jose Hernandez, you’ll undertake an odyssey of war that spares no women, children, or refugees. Along the way you’ll bond ever closer with your squad-mates over conversations of home, risky favors, and nerve-rattling combat. The eleven soldiers who fight by your side hail from varying backgrounds, but every one of them will come to be considered family to Pvt. Hernandez over the course of a harrowing global conflict. But can the men of Charlie squad save you from yourself?

Background: -Narrative arc that traces the bonds of Charlie squad from training to the end of the war inspired by Band of Brothers.
-First-Person cover system similar to that of Crysis 2‘s.
-Tactical squad-commands like those in Brothers in Arms.
-Vehicular combat comparable to Battlefield 3‘s.
-Some of the visual filters recall the stylized trappings of Killer 7 and Borderlands.

Description: K.I.A. is a game that aims to put you in the mind of a soldier from beginning to end. That’s why it starts at boot camp with your fellow soldiers. Not only will boot camp teach you all of the skills you need to navigate a HUDless world, it will allow you to begin bonding with your squad-mates. An innovative dialogue system that allows you to select passive, aggressive, or neutral responses (fully voiced) to NPC dialogue on the fly–without menu pop-ups or cut-scenes–drives organic character development throughout the game, whether conversations take place at the mess hall, amid the local night-life when you have leave, or even in the heat of battle.

After a short while of boot camp and training, you’ll get your first eye-opening taste of action. But this isn’t some trivial shooting gallery: your first kill is emotionally overwhelming and will become an integral part of the story that’s revisited in playable dreams and hallucinations. In fact, that entire first battle is frantically overwhelming. This is where K.I.A.‘s unique visual filter is introduced. When things are relatively calm, the visual style is very realistic, save for a muted color palate that makes things seem slightly off. But as the action gets more intense, especially when bullets start flying too close for comfort, the screen will begin to “bleed” colors. The bright red of blood and the burning yellow of muzzle flashes will begin to overpower the surrounding browns and greys, “bleeding” into their surroundings and becoming more exaggerated the longer you’re exposed to fire. Progressively, the realistic friends and enemies around you will morph into stylized figures not unlike the faceless foes of Killer 7. This drastic and dynamic aesthetic transformation visually echoes the adrenaline-fueled intensity of combat, thus bringing you closer to the mind of Private Hernandez.

But there’s also an advantage to living on the dangerous edge (besides the appealing color palate): over time, as you become more and more acquainted with the art of killing, your character will begin to revel in it. When the adrenaline starts pumping and the colors start bleeding, time will slow down just enough to give you an edge over your highly-trained enemies. However, it’s no guarantee that you’ll make it out of battle alive, and if it’s abused too often, Hernandez’s vision will start to blur in regular time, forcing him deeper into his bloodlust.

Of course all this is mostly an aesthetic twist on standard FPS gameplay. However, about midway through the campaign, you’ll be promoted and take on the responsibility of tactical squad-commands. Much like those in Brothers in Arms, you’ll be able to order two fire-teams in real time with simple suppressing fire and flanking maneuvers. Like that series, flanking and deft use of cover are necessary to victory in K.I.A. because of advanced enemy AI.

But if you want to learn more about your comrades’ pasts than is revealed in the main storyline, you can take on optional side quests that usually involve personal favors in between missions. These can always be skipped, but characters tend to open up more around base or when on leave, and the range of non-combat situations waiting to be explored hold much of the game’s humor.

In addition to K.I.A.‘s globe-trotting, emotionally gripping campaign, there’s also a full multiplayer suite with all of the expected modes. But there’s also a “Finish the Fight” mode that sets you in an online competitive campaign, where cumulative match results determine which faction controls which maps. If your faction controls a map, you gain some minor bonuses in combat, but not enough to rest your laurels on. This is a persistent war where every match helps the total effort to move across the global map and defeat the opposing faction. The war effort can also be extended with DLC. This mode is also unique because it utilizes the campaign’s squad-command feature by giving the most experienced player on each team the ability to set objectives and issue simple commands to the two (human) fire-teams under his control. Orders don’t have to be followed, but when they are more experience is rewarded and fighting generally goes smoother.

Key Features:-Mature, emotionally moving narrative that places you in impossible moral situations to expose the true cost of war.
-Dynamic visual filter system that exaggerates the swing of emotional states in a soldier’s life.
-Tactical squad-commands that enable more realistic, thoughtful combat.
-RPG-like side missions and character development.
-Real-time dialogue system that allows you to maintain movement and action while naturally communicating in any situation.
-No HUD, no cut-scenes, no switching between perspectives for cover; you are always immersed in the game world.

Genre: Tactical Modern Military First-Person Shooter

Platforms: Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC

Share/Save

Some side quests introduce us to party members' family members in the hardest fight of the game. Fun!

So with the recent releases of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and Batman: Arkham City, I thought it’d be appropriate to have a discussion on side quests–specifically, what separates the good from the bad? I think we can all agree that when side quests are done well, they unquestionably contribute to a vastly better game experience. In fact, side quests often turn out to be more memorable than main quests for me personally. But why is that?

Well, frankly side quests can sometimes be so boring and tedious that they become memorable for bogging the experience down so much. As much as I like to feel like I’m in a living world full of real characters with their own problems, I can’t say that I’m a fan of them duping me into helping them when it turns out that they’re just too lazy to get off their butts and collect their own flowers/misplaced amulets/rabid space-monkeys (okay, that last one might be cool). I don’t know what sort of bizarro-world these people are living in where they think it’s cool for a total stranger to dish out his personal problems to the first moderately armed person he comes across, but it’s definitely not okay when the relationship ceases to develop right around the prostitute end of the spectrum. I get that all of you weaklings have problems and that you’d have me kill your grandmother for her fine china just as long as I stop asking questions at the jingle of a few coins, but I don’t know you and I have problems of my own. Simple fetch quests or kill quests aren’t necessarily bad things (all game design boils down to those factors at the most basic level), but if my relationship with the quest-giver ends after I’ve completed said menial task and taken my reward, then the quest should be cut from the game. It’s padding that adds nothing to development of an interesting setting, character development, plot development, or mechanical development.

However, I want to make myself clear and say that side quests don’t have to be epic eight hour subplots to be considered good. Some of the best side quests are singular offshoots that are entirely self-contained. A great example of this kind of quest would be “A Brush with Death” in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. What sets this quest apart from typical fetch/kill quests is that it transports you to a unique and engaging setting that’s entirely separate from the rest of the game-world; it’s hard not to get drawn in (ha) to a quest that sucks you into a magical painting and the secret world within that painting. Upon entering this world, the setting looks physically different from the rest of Oblivion‘s world. It’s interesting because it’s novel, much like “The Game” in Fable III, a quest that shrinks you down and makes you the hero of a pen-and-paper RPG, complete with towering, hooded nerds bickering around the game-table in typical D&D fashion. Side quests are a great place to bring in crazy ideas or settings that just don’t fit into the core narrative. And generally, “crazy” is better and more memorable than “trivial.”

But a game-world can only have so many offshoot quests before the threads start coming apart and feel like an incoherent jumble of unrelated ideas. This is where character-building subplots come in. If we take Mass Effect 2‘s loyalty missions as an example, we see multi-quest arcs that don’t really deviate from the core experience in terms of gameplay, but are entirely separate from the main narrative. They’re not necessary to complete the game, but because they focus extensively on the same characters for a chain of missions, they add a greater understanding of the universe and its individual occupants. A similar, more extreme example of this story within a bigger story approach would be guild arcs in the Elder Scrolls games. Some of these side stories could make up entire games on their own, but in the grand scheme of the game-world, they don’t even have to be acknowledged. There’s no arguing that they’re side quests, but they’re so fleshed out with developed characters and plots that experiencing them can radically alter the character you’ve built in your mind by game’s end.

Another kind of satisfying side quest doesn’t have to rely on character development to maintain your interest (although they often have some for good measure). What I’m talking about here are side quests that develop minor game mechanics and features that aren’t a central focus in the main narrative. These are often the most rewarding kinds of side quests because they feel so different from the core action and provide such a welcome change of pace that the game as a whole still feels fresh when the credits roll. Ezio’s parkour abilities in Assassin’s Creed II are generally just a mode of transportation in the main story, but if you choose to pursue optional Assassin Tombs, you’re introduced to precision platforming that feels more like Prince of Persia than the stab-fest of the core narrative. Similarly, The Riddler puzzles in Batman: Arkham Asylum require no stealth takedowns or carefully timed brawling, but the puzzles are developed enough that they’re fun in their own right.

I’d say that nine times out of ten, if a side quest falls under one of these three categories, it’ll probably be good. And what really steps a quest up and makes it more than just good is a sense of player progression. The loyalty missions in ME2 grant invaluable party-member loyalty that can drastically alter the main story’s finale (obviously the best kind of progression), the guild quests in Elder Scrolls games usually reward powerful weapons or armor that can’t be obtained any other way, as do the Assassins Tombs in ACII. Whatever way you cut it, gamers want that sweet, sweet loot like Tobias Funke wants a strapping young man to blast his glutes (shame on you if you don’t understand that reference). The draw of making your character more powerful is enough to make menial tasks like collecting randomly strewn orbs in Crackdown addicting, so there’s obviously a lot of power in this element that can make for truly memorable quests if utilized properly.

And I’d say those are the keys to a good side quest. If you can think of anything else, I’d love to hear it. I’d also be interested in hearing about your favorite side quests and what makes them stand out to you. And if we could somehow all band together and convince developers to stop padding their games with useless time-wasting quests, that’d be great too, but I have my doubts about that happening any time soon. Now I must return to Arkham City‘s fantastic “Cold Call Killer” side quest.

Share/Save

Concept Art - That's about right.

Introduction: Slayer takes all the action, drama, and comedy of Joss Whedon’s beloved Buffy the Vampire Slayer and puts it into a choice-driven Action-RPG set ten years after the destruction of Sunnydale. You play as one of the many potential Slayers who was awoken in the events of the series finale, and with none other than Giles as your personal Watcher, you must assemble your very own Scooby Gang to combat Buffy herself. An unidentified big bad has sired the most powerful Slayer the world has ever known and together they’re working to undo all the good that’s been done. You’ll encounter Angel, Spike, Willow and the rest along the way, but ultimately, only you can stop the vampire slayer turned vampire.

Background: -It’s a licensed game that draws from the universe of Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.
-Rhythm-based combat similar in feel to Batman: Arkham Asylum.

Description: Ever since the Hellmouth in Sunnydale was closed, Buffy and her friends have been tracking Slayers across the world and training them in the ways of vampire fighting. But after years of building up this unified network of warriors and preventing many an apocalypse along the way, the group’s leader is mysteriously turned. Soulless and more powerful than ever, Buffy is hell bent on returning demons to power. Seeing how grim the situation is, Giles and Buffy’s friends do what has to be done and begin strategizing for the latest big bad, starting with their star pupil–you.

In Slayer, the man who taught Buffy like she was his own daughter takes you under his wing as your Watcher. While you may take orders from Giles, you have some choice in building your core of allies from eight unique NPCs with various talents. You can take up to three friends into battle with you at a time and assign others to research duties for combat bonuses, puzzle hints, and level short-cuts. But party members will only level up in tasks they do, so your bookworms could easily become kidnapping targets if you always leave them to research on their own (thus forcing a rescue mission if you want them back). Likewise, pure fighters won’t be much help if any cryptic puzzles come up in the midst of a mission.

When you are in the heat of battle, you’ll have an array of vampires, monsters, demons, and anything else that goes bump in the night to fight against. Combat involves highly choreographed brawling based on rhythmic attack combinations and counters. Some enemies can be taken down with your standard fists and stake, but others will require swords, axes, crossbows, and more. These weapons all alter the flow of combat in their own way and can satisfyingly dismember foes, but they also sap your stamina much quicker than simple stake fighting. However, once a weapon’s spilled enough blood, a wicca can exploit that primal power with enchantments and make the weapon more powerful.

But that’s not all they can do; party members include a variety of specialists including wiccas, half-demons, Slayers in training, and so on. In a fight, you can command your allies to use certain attacks or tactics, thus fully utilizing the trio of magic, melee, and ranged attackers.

Most important on your quest to save the world is the fact that you can dress your Slayer how you want, you can have her fight how you want, and you can have her speak the way you want. As you level up you can tweak your fighting style to suit several different melee approaches and the dialogue choices you make will have consequences in and out of missions. Relate more to Faith than to Buffy? Nothing’s stopping you from being a bad girl Slayer. Then again, maybe you’d like to see a wise-cracking Anya type with Slayer power. Or hey, you could even play like that one mentally unstable Slayer who cut Spike’s arms off (temporarily, of course) in Angel. It’s all about how you want to fight evil. Some Slayers might even be willing to make some compromises with Wolfram and Hart to get things done without so much violence.

All of this classic Action-RPG fun comes together in a dimension hopping, apocalypse-preventing, quip-filled adventure with the Whedonesque dramedy you love. All of your favorite characters, big and small, play roles ranging from plot-changing player (oh, you know Angel is going to get turned into Angelus at some point) to comedic cameo (there may or may not be a Clem side-quest that involves collecting kittens so he can get into a high-stakes poker game). Some friends will be lost, some hearts will be broken, and you’ll be taken for a ride that explores Giles and Buffy’s relationship in more depth than ever before, all in the name of saving the world.

Key Features: -Fully exploits the rich settings, characters, and monsters of the Buffyverse.
-Dialogue, side-quests, and more let you play as the style of Slayer you want to be.
-Assemble your personal team of allies in the fight against evil…and outdated fashion senses!
-Squad commands encourage tactical combat that fully utilizes each team member’s strengths.
-Fluid hand-to-hand combat that makes you feel like a truly powerful warrior.
-An arsenal of customizable and upgradable weapons for those times when a stake just isn’t enough.
-Witty and hilarious dialogue.

Genre: Action-RPG

Platforms: Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC

Share/Save

Shenmue - The game where the mini-games are the game, man.

Before venturing any further into what will surely be dubbed an inadequate list by the lot of you, I’d first like to try to define just what a mini-game is. For starters, despite what the internet seems to think, it’s not Call of Duty‘s Nazi Zombies mode; that’s a full-fledged feature. It’d be like calling Gears of War‘s Horde mode a mini game. No, mini-games need to differentiate themselves from the core gameplay in some way. But they also need to realistically exist within the context of and feel authentic to the game-world, which rules out randomly misplaced distractions like Project Gotham Racing 2‘s Geometry Wars. Lastly, a mini-game needs to be something that can be returned to again and again regardless of where you are in the game’s story. In other words, it has to exist outside of one or two quests. Oh, and I’m ruling out mini-games from mini-game compilations in this list; sorry WarioWare and Mario Party. Following this definition, I give you ten of the best mini-games in a vast landscape of mundane wood chopping and mediocre button-mashing.

Air Hockey of the Future (Beyond Good & Evil)
For starters, air hockey is probably one of the most entertaining games of any sort to ever grace the Earth. While Michel Ancel’s take on it lacks the cool breeze beneath your fingertips and wayward paddles careening through the air, it makes up for it with a simple, yet addictive formula. There are eight pucks on the table at all times–four to a side. A wall runs across the middle of the table with a narrow, curved opening around the middle. Once the air starts up, you’ve got eight pucks zooming around that all have to end up on your opponent’s side of the table. The unique curve of the wall’s opening makes shooting with the proper angel a necessity, lest you want your puck hitting the wall and bouncing right back to you. And with your opponent flinging them right back at you, you’ve got to calculate quickly and constantly remain aware of every puck’s location. It’s a fast-paced game that’s easy to get into, but deceptively difficult. And it’s all accentuated by the Akuda Bar’s frantic Latin Rap beats.

Blitzball (Final Fantasy X)
Having never played FFX myself (I know), I don’t personally know the intricacies of Blitzball, but from all I’ve seen and heard, it sounds pretty fantastic. It seems to boil down to a turn-based futuristic version of water polo that lets you level up your team’s players over time. Different characters have different strengths and there’s a strategy to knowing when to utilize who and for what purpose. With a little more depth, Blitzball could probably form the basis of an entire game.

Fishing (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)
The old hook and pole has always been a staple of mini-games to varying degrees of success. One of the funnest and most rewarding fishing mini-games ever is found in what might be the best Zelda game ever. The gameplay’s really no different that what you’d expect–cast your line, bait a fish into biting it, and reel that sucker in–but there’s something undeniably rewarding about the age-old pastime. And trading in your big, fat, lunking catches for sweet prizes is always rewarding.

Hacking (BioShock)
Some people feel like the hacking mini-game in BioShock breaks up the title’s heated combat (that tends to happen when a hack completely pauses the action), but I’m willing to overlook that and appreciate just how addictive hacking Rapture is. Faced with a grid of dozens of mystery squares, you’ve got a limited amount of time to flip enough squares to find vertical tubes, horizontal tubes, and curving tubes that link together to guide the “electrical flow” toward the desired end point. But with multiple hazards secretly blocking paths and only so many of each tube type to go around, it’s a feverish struggle to forge a suitable path through the grid’s puzzle before the speeding electricity has nowhere to go.

Insert another Final Fantasy mini-game here
Okay, so collectively, this series probably has more good mini-games than every other video game combined, but having never played any of them, I just don’t feel qualified to pick one above the rest. I’m told that FFIX‘s Tetra Master and FFVIII‘s Triple Triad are a ton of fun, but for as many videos as I’ve watched, I just can’t figure out how they’re played. Then there’s a whole collection of mini-games at the Gold Saucer in FFVII. And, you know, I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed by all of it so I’ll let you guys pick for yourself. If that’s not the definition of an informative, insightful top ten list then I don’t know what is!

Klungo Saves Teh World (Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts)
Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts is an incredible game, but it is pretty light on the platforming the series built its name on. That just makes this fiendishly difficult throwback to the Platforming genre’s 8-bit roots all the more satisfying as a welcome change of pace in the Puzzle-Racer (you need to experience it for yourself). There’s just something about honing your reflexes and timing to perfection after whipping your controller to the ground again and again in frustration that brings on the good ole nostalgia. Oh, and the 8-bit music is like a 10 on the awesome scale. The background art of Dr. Space-Klungo rescuing an overly boxum damsel in distress is an 11. Put together, that’s like hitting blackjack in the casino of your awesome-receptors and blowing the chips right out of your ears. Yeah, think about it…

Klungo begins saving teh world around 3:30.

Liar’s Dice (Red Dead Redemption)
Without a doubt my personal favorite on this list, Liar’s Dice is the reason I wish RDR were an RPG. I mean, what’s so wrong with wanting my John Marston to become a traveling gambler who abandons his family and obligations to hit it big with nothing more than five dice and his wits? But nooooooo, Rockstar had to go and force a predefined character on me. In the game, at least two (and usually a few more) people roll their five dice in a cup and conceal them from everybody else. Based on what you roll, you have to figure the odds of what everybody else rolled and place a bet on the number of a particular die on the table. To elaborate, you may bet that there are at least three ones on the table between everybody. The player to your left can then call your bluff, in which case everybody shows their dice and if their aren’t at least three ones you will lose a die, but if their are then he loses a die. Or he can re-up the bet and say that their are at least four ones (or five, etc). Or he can change the initial bet to a different die just as long as the cumulative number matches the current bet, i.e. at least four twos or threes. It all sounds rather complicated, and bringing the spot-on move into things muddles it a little more, but it’s an easy game to pick up after a few rounds of hands-on time. Pretty much, you want to hold onto all of your dice. This mini-game gets extra points for being a great real-life drinking game (if you happen to have 20-25 six-sided dice on hand).

Pazaak (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic)
Pazaak is basically Blackjack a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Two players both draw cards trying to get as close to 20 (I wonder if there were legal issues with using 21?) without exceeding it as possible. You can hit for random cards just like in regular Blackjack, but you’ve also got four cards of your own that can either add or subtract from your total. Once you use one of these personal cards it’s gone for the match, and you have to win three “sets” in order to take the match. It’s a simple and addictive game that anyone can get into. But the really cool part is that you can find or buy better cards for your personal deck out in the game-world and increase your chances of winning at the table. I’ve lost many hours to this mini-game.

And while Pazaak is pretty good, I have to say that BioWare really outdid themselves with Mass Effect 2‘s painfully fun planet scanni–okay, I can’t even keep a straight face for that. Can we seriously get some mini-games for ME3 that are at least little bit more exciting than death itself?

Taxi Driver (Grand Theft Auto series)
The Grand Theft Auto games are known for their bustling sandbox cities and all of the little activities that make them feel real. A large part of that is mini-games, and while it’s always fun to get drunk and play darts in GTA IV or to deal out some vigilante justice from the wheel of a police car, I’ve always been partial to the timed taxi fares. Just jump into a taxi and click down on your analog stick and you’re playing Crazy Taxi in the ultra-detailed worlds Rockstar always crafts. There’s not much to it, but do we really need more than the excitement of whizzing between lanes of on-coming traffic with a terrified customer in the back seat? Not really, but I guess you could also throw the customer out and repeatedly run them over for a little extra kick.

Skip ahead to 1:00.

As a runner-up for the franchise, San Andreas‘ Hot Coffee mini-game is certainly…noteworthy. I’m sure there are millions of 12-year-old boys who would have played it incessantly if they knew how to hack their consoles and access it. The PC kids probably scoffed at such tame material and went back to modding the deranged sex mini-games of their dreams.

Westcliff Shooting Range (Fable II)
The Fable series is guilty of some pretty atrocious mini-games, but the Westcliff Shooting Range is not one of them. It’s an exceptionally well-designed, increasingly difficult shooting range that rewards players who keep their cool and concentrate on head shots. It’s easy to get the points to complete the quest, but getting the full 200 for the greatest prize is a fun and memorable challenge. You’ve got to always keep your composure and be aware of where enemies are popping up as well as civilians. It’s a great change of pace in a great Action-RPG.

And that’s my list. It was depressingly hard to come up with. There is a severe lack of quality mini-games out there. Hopefully you’ll all be able to enlighten me in the comments with some games that I missed. Until then, I’ll just keep dreaming of a next-gen Secret of Monkey Island that throws the classic insult sword-fighting in as the greatest mini-game of all time.

Share/Save

Concept Art - The starkly clean world of Mirror's Edge tainted by a renaissance of graffiti.

After a bit of a hiatus, circumstances have allowed for the return of InsaneBear’s “Pitching” feature, in which I conjure up a basic game concept and present it for my faithful readers to critique and compare against the current gaming landscape. What’s good or bad about this game? Which of its elements would you like to see in other games? These questions and more are an important part of “Pitching” that will allow us to create a meaningful dialogue on conventions of game design. Of course, the feature’s return is subject to reader response; so let us know if you’d like to see more like this or if you’d rather stick with InsaneBear’s traditional features!

Introduction: Tag is a parkour-based First-Person Action-Adventure that sees you change the world–with a can of spray paint. Set against the backdrop of a near-future Police-State where the fearful public willingly conceded their freedoms in the name of safety, government censorship has slowly eradicated freedom of speech and freedom of the press. But you’re one reporter who’s not afraid to do what’s right, and through your connections with an underground paper, you’ve positioned yourself to join a cell of political graffiti artists who’ve been sweeping the city with a physical message that a digital government is struggling to combat.
Plot your way to the tops of buildings, leave your mark, and try to escape the anti-graffiti task force. Forge your freedom.

Background: -Conceptually influenced by Marc Ecko’s Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure and Exit Through the Gift Shop.
-First-Person parkour mechanics inspired by Mirror’s Edge.
-Tag designer workshop not unlike the Forza series’ intricate paint shops.
-Hoverboard sequences are designed to supplement the free-running parkour for a constant fluidity and inertia very similar in feel to Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3.

Description: As a daring young journalist working for an underground paper, you’ve landed the story of a lifetime by gaining an exclusive interview with the head of a radical graffiti troop that the government has labeled as terrorists. The only catch is that you have to tag along on the troop’s missions for one year before you can print your story; the leader wants to ensure that his message is not misinterpreted, and he needs to know that he can trust you before he meets you face to face.

So you agree and become part of the group after you craft your personal tag and complete an initiation tagging. The crafting process is quite in-depth and allows you to create a virtually limitless number of designs using layered geometric templates like those found in Forza‘s paint shops. And what’s especially cool about the tag creator is that it imports the designs of every other player and populates your game-world with them, resulting in a dynamic virtual art gallery where the highest rated tags are placed in the most prominent locations around the city.

But the heart of the gameplay is made up of two elements: Puzzle-Platforming your way to the best tag locations and putting your fluid parkour skills to use in relentless escape sequences. The first half of the equation pits you against elaborate Platforming obstacles that require precision jumps and a strategic eye. Any mistakes could send your progress plummeting back down to where you started. And with a limited amount of time to reach your target, there’s a real choice to be made in whether you settle for lesser tag locations or risk going for the most visible.

Depending on how you choose, you’ll gain a certain amount of reputation points. These points can be spent learning skills from other members of the troop. Some members specialize in physical training and help you to run faster and jump farther, which grants access to parkour paths that many members are incapable of taking. Others specialize in spotting potential paths and can give you a “Parkour Sight” ability, which highlights the fastest path, the safest path, and hidden paths according to color. Lastly, there’s a group that specializes in gadgets, allowing you to use distracting smoke-bombs, grapple hooks that can save your life if you miss a jump, or even an upgraded coolant system on your hoverboard (very important if you plan on using it for more than ten seconds at a time).

All of these skills are very useful in the escape sequences that follow each tagging. The Anti-Graffiti Task Force doesn’t use lethal weapons unless they have to, but they’re perfectly willing to use net guns, bean-bag guns, and even tranquilizers. And being the well-funded agency that they are, they have no shortage of hoverboards, helicopters, or men to chase you down with. Leaping from rooftop to rooftop from twenty stories up with all of these highly trained agents chasing you becomes even more heart-pounding when you add in your hoverboard (or hi-jack one of theirs).

The hoverboard is a unique piece of technology that allows you to gain speed by gliding over railings and ledges or by hitting jumps and ramps for big air. You can even equip it mid-air to land with minimum friction and build up speed before you get to the next climbing obstacle, almost like stringing a combo together in a skateboarding game. The only catch is that the cheap boards available to the public overheat after ten seconds of use and require a 30 second cool down period. This means that a tight balance of running and boarding is required to maintain the seamless and constant motion necessary to escape your pursuers.

All of this intense action is set against a variety of thumping techno and hip-hop beats that feed into the rhythmic sense of motion and the graffiti culture. A gripping story of artistic expression combating the triviality of a “safe and civilized” culture caps things off.

Key Features: -Fluid and immersive First-Person Parkour action.
-Timed hoverboard allows you to keep the pace fast and string “combos” together.
-RPGish skill trees help you build a character that suits your play-style.
-No fatal combat.
-A deep an flexible Tag creator that lets you craft something unique and then populate other players’ worlds with it.
-A dope Trip-Hop soundtrack that drives the action and lends some authenticity to the graffiti culture being depicted.

Genre: First-Person Parkour/Action-Adventure

Platforms: Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC

Share/Save