The returning veterans sound better than ever and the new additions seem to be quite excited to be a part of the game. I have confidence that the voice acting will–wait, the eye candy’s not Miranda? One Miranda wasn’t enough? How will we ever differentiate between Ashley (young and busty white brunette 1), Miranda (young and busty white brunette 2), and “Diana Allers” (young and busty white brunette 3)?

If the Illusive Man is cloning these broads and giving them different hairstyles to trick us, then he’s got another thing coming! Homosexual Shepard FTW!

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Now we know. And you know what? I actually think it looks pretty cool. The combat has always been fun in Mass Effect games and this will give me a chance to try out all the classes without having to replay the entire game half a dozen times. Not to mention the hilarity that will ensue when you get a mix of Krogans and Salarians on your team. If any game excuses ignorant online racial tensions, it will surely be Mass Effect 3. It’s just role-playing, right?

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Some people might not like the guy, but he sounds like he legitimately enjoys and has played the Mass Effect games. And just imagine how awesome Vega’s I Know What You Did Last Summer-inspired loyalty mission will be! No? Scooby Doo? Well…he’s married to Sarah Michelle Gellar; maybe their bodies of work will somehow cross and the Reapers will turn out to be vampires and Buffy the Vampire Slayer will come to save the day. Boy, that sure would give me the wiggins!

But putting all of my fantasies aside, this video actually has a fair amount of new gameplay clips in it, and they look pretty good. I’m really starting to get excited for ME3. March 6th, baby!

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For those who are in the mood for a more domineering kind of relationship on Valentine’s Day. Well, at least if you download the Xbox 360 version and have Kinect. As you can see in the video above, most of the commands seem awkward, inefficient, and sort of silly. However, I will admit that the fluidity with which multiple orders can be issued in real time, in the heat of combat is impressive. I imagine that on the hardest difficulty setting, that sort of seamless tactical control could make for some really satisfying encounters.

But if you don’t have the pleasure of that $150 mic known as Kinect, then you’ll just have to settle for the the regular old demo, also available on the PS3 and PC. According to GameSpot, it will drop “gamers into the title’s opening sequence, allowing players to slog through the initial Reaper attack on Earth. Additionally, the game’s demo will give players a taste of the franchise’s new co-op multiplayer mode.”

That co-op portion unlocks on the 14th if you happen to have a Battlefield 3 online pass (that’s EA for you), but you’ll have to wait just a few days longer til the 17th if you’re lacking in that department.

Mass Effect 3 releases on the Xbox 360, PS3, and PC on March, 6th.

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27 seconds to tell you something you pretty much already knew.

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Okay, that was mean. It’s not even April Fools day. I apologize for getting your hopes up, but that’s what happened to me when I first saw this Half-Life 3 shirt, which was initially spotted on a Valve employee at Seattle’s Eastside Industry Night.

However, the tipster with the sharp eye (head of marketing for Monday Night Combat dev Uber Entertainment) has since said that the Valve employee “knew as much about Half-Life 3 as we do, which is nothing.” Given Valve’s colorful sense of humor, I wouldn’t put it past them to crush our souls with this beacon of false hope, and then when we think it can’t get any worse, they release Half-Life 3 underwear for the low, low price of $20. And you know what the undies say on the back? “Butt a guy can hope, right?”

And in equally mysterious, yet slightly less depressing rumors, there’s the following teaser for The Last of Us, a PS3 exclusive that’s set for announcement at the Spike VGAs on December 10th.

That’s about all we know for the moment, other than a brief clip of an ant getting acquainted with its hindquarters on the game’s website. Internet sleuths the world over have linked the clip to the following documentary, which frankly, would have made a far more exciting teaser.

Moving along to slightly more substantiated rumors, recent talk of BioWare’s new game from a new studio (to be revealed at the VGAs) being an entry in the Command & Conquer franchise is being backed up by some domain names that EA registered a few days ago. Signs point to the title being called Command & Conquer: Alliances. No word yet on whether it will be an awful cash-in Shooter with frisky NPC party members that can pledge their alliance to you given a side quest or two.

Lastly (can’t have it all be disappointing news, right?), in a recent interview with GameInformer, Jonathan Blow said that his highly anticipated The Witness might be coming to consoles after all:

My current idea is to launch on PC and iOS, and then maybe one of the consoles which has not been decided, and later to bring the game to all other platforms. We can only do a certain number of platforms at launch, because we’re small. A few months ago, I was doing all these interviews, and I didn’t think we were going to do a console at launch. But we’re hiring two more programmers, which has a huge impact on what we can do. So now the idea is open again, that we might do a console launch, but now what exactly that is depends on all sorts of business things that we just haven’t figured out yet.

Given the phrasing of “one of the consoles” and an explicit mention of the business side of things, I’d say it’s a safe bet that Blow still has some resentment toward Microsoft for XBLA’s business policies, which he has openly criticized before. But hey, at least PS3 owners might get in on the fun.

Now I’m going to go get to work on printing my Half-Life 4 shirts so I can pitch them to Valve and make a boatload of money when Gabe Newell sees the comedic genius in it.

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Joining its RPG brethren Mass Effect 3, established single-player role-playing game Dragon Age is getting a multiplayer component.

Kotaku’s insider at EA claims that there will be “arena-based” multiplayer in an upcoming Dragon Age game. The insider was unsure if this would be part of Dragon Age 3, or if it would be available as a standalone downloadable title. What little details that are available say that the multiplayer will include player versus environment, as well as player versus player elements. Not much to go on, really, but here’s the kicker(s): the multiplayer will let you control dragons (!), and it is being developed on the Frostbite 2 engine.

While the rest of it sounds like an unnecessary add-on, Frostbite 2 powered dragon destruction is definitely something I could get behind.

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I mean, the dude’s setting people on fire. Does the future have no codes of conduct for armed conflict? No, they just cower behind their omni-desks and let Shepard commit war crimes across the galaxy. It disgusts me!

But the real issue here seems to be the existence of “BioWare Pulse.” When did this become a thing? I can’t say why, but it disturbs me, almost as much as Renegade Shepard having his way with innocent little Rachni. The brute!

Okay, okay, I’ll let it go. Three paragraphs in, let’s get to the real crux of this post: Mass Effect 3‘s combat looks pretty slick, even in its developmental stages. The focus on giving each class different solutions to combat scenarios (and different ways to knocks enemies’ lights out) is welcome, and it looks like some new enemies are being introduced (such as the shield guys) that will mix up the flow of combat. The animations really look rather splendid as well. Just four more months!

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Everybody loves rumor time! So let’s start with that shaky-cam video above. The blurry concept art you see is allegedly from Beyond Good & Evil 2. The gentlemen speakers you hear are Ubisoft’s Michel Ancel and Jordan Mechner. The hopes and dreams you feel stirring in the depths of your soul are shared by all fans of quality gaming.

Now, BG&E2 isn’t exactly a secret. In fact, Mr. Ancel has even confirmed that he’s still actively working on the title (although the team did take time off to do Rayman Origins). It’s been hinted at in the past that we probably won’t be seeing Jade’s next adventure until the next generation of consoles. So what’s the good news here? Well, for starters, if Ubisoft Montpellier is holding conferences for the the title, then we can undoubtedly assume that development has resumed. Also, and more importantly, skipping ahead to 4:50 in the video reveals that the incredible leaked gameplay footage from a couple years back is indeed legit. Nathan Drake only wishes he were that fluid and cinematic. Lastly, the focus on an Indian-style setting and culture, with a specific emphasis on the intertwining of “modern and traditional ways of life” sounds like a very promising narrative set-up. Between this and Half-Life 2: Episode 3, my list of “games that are way too distant for me to get excited about but I’m going to anyway” is painting a very bright future in my head.

But that’s not all, fans of criminally under-appreciated last-gen games! Recent comments from Rockstar’s Dan Houser have led to speculation that upon completing Max Payne 3 in March, Rockstar Vancouver (the main team at work on that game) will return to their critically acclaimed Bully for a sequel. Perhaps with all of the recognition Rockstar has gained this generation, Bully 2 could actually get the reception it deserves.

Lastly, there’s a rather complicated rumor involving a LinkedIn profile which suggests that the new title BioWare is set to announce at this year’s VGAs will be part of the Command & Conquer franchise. Technically, it’s feasible, but one look at the only official teaser image we have raises some serious doubts about that.

I guess we’ll just have to wait ’til the VGAs on December 10th to find out for sure.

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We’re back after a 2 month hiatus to bring you the best podcast this side of the Mississippi! Listen in as we yell back and forth at each other about all the great games we’ve been playing. And then, I attempt to distract Cody from the Packer’s game long enough to discuss the news of the week. Finally, prepare yourselves for a trip to the creative depths of our souls, because we’ve got a new installment of InsaneBear’s own You Are the Game! Listen to it all right here, right now!

News Links

Rainbow 6: Patriots Concept Trailer
Alan Wake XBLA, MGS: Rising, and a new Bioware game to appear at VGAs
Gears 3 DLC News
Grand Theft Auto V Debut Trailer

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