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Feature: Where were our favorite video game characters in high school?
With all of the world saving and other heroic deeds they’re known for now, it’s easy to forget that our favorite game characters were once regular old kids who went through the same traumatic high school experiences as the rest of us. Okay, so maybe that completely negates the canon of most of these franchises, but it’s still fun to think where Sub-zero fell in the social circle of that bizarre microcosm of life we call high school. So sit back, relax, and contemplate how horrible a person you are for all the bullying you surely would have inflicted upon the future heroes of pretty much any JRPG.
Author: Cody
Feature: Top 10 most eligible bachelors/bachelorettes in gaming
Man, I really wish Wedding Crashers wasn’t on right now, because it’s making it very difficult to write this. But anyways, tomorrow is the annual celebration of over-priced chocolates, cards that a heartless corporation wrote for you, and misguided sexual adventures–pretty much everything that makes true love. But if you’re like me and Valentine’s Day is just another miserable day on the calendar, then you’ll probably just spend tomorrow with what you love most–video games. So in the spirit of being single on Valentine’s Day and having to relate it to video games because that’s our M.O. here at InsaneBear, I present to you a list of the top 10 most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes in the world of video games.
Author: CodyRandom: The Koopa Shore
“I would have laughed myself into the center of the Earth if Captain Falcon had punched Daisy rather than being hit with the blue shell.” Thank you random Kotaku commenter. And thank you, “Dr. Coolsex,” for bringing us such an awesome video despite the creepy choice of name. Still, I think this would probably be ten times more hilarious were it set in the Metal Gear universe. Oh, well.
Author: CodyFeature: Casting call: Video game heroes’ real life counter-parts
Duke Nukem – Bruce Campbell might have the perfect personality to play the Duke, and Ron Pearlman has got a nearly identical mug shot, but nobody brings the entire package together quite like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Dye his hair blonde and the Governator is the spitting image of Mr. Nukem. Plus he likes to blow stuff up and smoke cigars.
Feature: 11 video game characters I would not want to date
Being lonely and unwanted by the ladies sort of comes with the territory of being a gamer. So inevitably, we’ve all turned to the fantastical land of video games for hope. “If only I could find a girl like Jill Valentine. She’d appreciate me…appreciate me big time!” But would we really want to be going steady with gaming’s fairer sex? This list sort of makes being alone seem not half bad. Then again, I could have just listed off ten Fable II hookers and it would have been the greatest thing in the world. I mean, you marry those broads, and all they do is put out, take care of your neglected offspring, and shower you with gifts. And if you ever upset them, make-up sex is only a “Hat, Headband, Mustache” expression away!
Author: Cody
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