Okay, that was mean. It’s not even April Fools day. I apologize for getting your hopes up, but that’s what happened to me when I first saw this Half-Life 3 shirt, which was initially spotted on a Valve employee at Seattle’s Eastside Industry Night.

However, the tipster with the sharp eye (head of marketing for Monday Night Combat dev Uber Entertainment) has since said that the Valve employee “knew as much about Half-Life 3 as we do, which is nothing.” Given Valve’s colorful sense of humor, I wouldn’t put it past them to crush our souls with this beacon of false hope, and then when we think it can’t get any worse, they release Half-Life 3 underwear for the low, low price of $20. And you know what the undies say on the back? “Butt a guy can hope, right?”

And in equally mysterious, yet slightly less depressing rumors, there’s the following teaser for The Last of Us, a PS3 exclusive that’s set for announcement at the Spike VGAs on December 10th.

That’s about all we know for the moment, other than a brief clip of an ant getting acquainted with its hindquarters on the game’s website. Internet sleuths the world over have linked the clip to the following documentary, which frankly, would have made a far more exciting teaser.

Moving along to slightly more substantiated rumors, recent talk of BioWare’s new game from a new studio (to be revealed at the VGAs) being an entry in the Command & Conquer franchise is being backed up by some domain names that EA registered a few days ago. Signs point to the title being called Command & Conquer: Alliances. No word yet on whether it will be an awful cash-in Shooter with frisky NPC party members that can pledge their alliance to you given a side quest or two.

Lastly (can’t have it all be disappointing news, right?), in a recent interview with GameInformer, Jonathan Blow said that his highly anticipated The Witness might be coming to consoles after all:

My current idea is to launch on PC and iOS, and then maybe one of the consoles which has not been decided, and later to bring the game to all other platforms. We can only do a certain number of platforms at launch, because we’re small. A few months ago, I was doing all these interviews, and I didn’t think we were going to do a console at launch. But we’re hiring two more programmers, which has a huge impact on what we can do. So now the idea is open again, that we might do a console launch, but now what exactly that is depends on all sorts of business things that we just haven’t figured out yet.

Given the phrasing of “one of the consoles” and an explicit mention of the business side of things, I’d say it’s a safe bet that Blow still has some resentment toward Microsoft for XBLA’s business policies, which he has openly criticized before. But hey, at least PS3 owners might get in on the fun.

Now I’m going to go get to work on printing my Half-Life 4 shirts so I can pitch them to Valve and make a boatload of money when Gabe Newell sees the comedic genius in it.

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The creator of highly-anticipated and oft-delayed Playstation 3 exclusive The Last Guardian has left Sony, Eurogamer reports. He’ll continue to work on the game in a freelance capacity after which he’ll move on to “personal projects.” Eurogamer cites Ueda’s departure from Sony as a reason for the game being delayed from holiday 2011.

Depending on what Ueda’s “personal projects” entail this could be an interesting development. I’d like to see the man branch out to some multi-platform games, but I’d also be interested to see him work with other types of media. But as long as his departure doesn’t create any more delays for The Last Guardian, I’m alright with it.

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I’m all for more melee in games, but does this emphasis on run ‘n’ gun and melee not penalize reasonable people who believe in aiming their weapons? And why would you ever start climbing a wall with another guy on it and hope you can melee him off when you could just shoot him from the ground to begin with?

Maybe it’s all perfectly balanced and every move has its time and place (although the beta feedback I’ve heard seems to indicate that that’s not the case), but I have a hard time believing such a fundamental focus on run ‘n’ gun won’t adversely affect multiplayer balance. Although, maybe this sort of close-quarters fighting is just what the game needs to set itself apart and offer a different experience from everything else on the market. It’s hard to say without playing the game personally, but Naughty Dog is certainly walking a fine line.

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While this console generation has treated us gamers just fine, there are some people out there who feel like it’s high time we get some hardware upgrades. And there’s certainly been no shortage of rumors on the subject. Now we can add more fuel to that wallet-crushing fire.

Develop is reporting that “Multiple sources across the industry, from processor chip manufacturers to middleware firms, have told Develop they expect the console to be fully unveiled at E3 2013, months before its release. The collection of data points to a 2013 launch for the system across all main regions, though early 2014 remains a possibility.” I’d say the timing fits, and given the mounting rumors over the past year, especially those coming from LinkedIn profiles and chip manufactures, this is more than likely true. Plus, multiple sources (including this one) have recently claimed that Lionhead is at work on a next-gen Fable game. It all adds up to a Holiday 2013 release for the Nextbox, even if Microsoft does decline to comment on rumors or speculation. Let’s all hope it doesn’t break the bank.

If you’re more of a Sony guy or gal, then we have some slightly less titillating rumors from Develop. Word is that “preliminary work on PlayStation 4 games has begun at several internal Sony studios,” though the “projects are at very early stages.” It’s also unclear which of Sony’s 16 first-party studios are working on the next-gen titles.

Develop goes on to say that “Sony is some distance from finalising the technology behind its next generation console, and any early input from internal game studios will be a relief to the development industry. Last year, Worldwide Studios (WWS) boss Shuhei Yoshida said Sony has learnt from past mistakes and is now asking game developers to help shape future technology.”

It appears as if we won’t be seeing a PS4 until 2014 at the earliest, but it’s good to know that “several SCE studios now have teams working on PS4 game concepts that could jump into full production if given the green light.”

Wii U–2012, Xbox 360 successor–2013, PS4–2014? I’m alright with that.

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See if you can spot the newsworthy item!

Like Alan Wake? Okay, I’m willing to give your taste in video games the benefit of the doubt. Maybe we can even reconcile our differences if rumors of a next-gen Alan Wake 1.) turn out to be true, and 2.) turn out to be rumoring a sequel that isn’t a cleverly disguised Third-Person Shooter.

But if Mr. Wake isn’t to your liking, the same source also claims that “Rare, Lionhead and Turn 10 all have [next-gen] teams in place too. Rare, we hear, are even prototyping ideas for a new ‘mature title’.” Could a proper Perfect Dark sequel finally be on the way? One can hope.

Of course, the implication of four Microsoft-friendly studios working on next-gen titles is that Microsoft is prepping a new console for the near-future. There have been rumors about this for years now, with a general consensus of 2013 as the launch window. And taking recent comments from European Xbox boss Chris Lewis into account, that seems like a fairly reasonable estimate. Speaking on the subject of the ten year life-cycle that Microsoft has repeatedly assigned to the 360, Lewis said, “We think we’re a little over halfway with the life cycle of the console, but that’s not to say there won’t be an overlap. I’m not going to announce specifically or talk about timing. But you could imagine there could be overlap, it depends. We’re not being specific about the next generation at this stage.”

Certainly something to chew on. But if your choppers need something a little more substantial to bite into, then rumors of a Jak and Daxter HD Collection might do the trick. Apparently, South African online retailer BT Games has put up a listing for the collection. And this is not the first time such a collection has been hinted at. Add in Sony’s recent support for HD collections (Metal Gear Solid HD Collection, Ico and Shadow of the Colossus HD Collection), and I’d say this is a safe bet. BT Games lists the collection for a January 2012 release.

Speaking of the early months in 2012, we haven’t had much official word on Mass Effect 3 lately, but that hasn’t stopped a train of rumors, the latest of which adds more fuel to the multiplayer fire. We have no confirmation of any multiplayer or co-op in ME3 yet, but the frequency of rumors paints a pretty clear picture. Sure, BT Games’ (hey, that sounds familiar…) listing of an “online multiplayer pass” for the game’s collector’s edition could just refer to something like ME2‘s Cerberus Network, but all signs point to more than just a DLC delivery system.

Last but not least is Microsoft’s confirmation of TV partners like Comcast, Verizon, HBO Go, and SyFy for Xbox Live this fall. Here’s a link to a stupid little announcement trailer and a list of the 40 different partners Microsoft has backing them. Frankly, I don’t really see what’s so great about this if you have to already subscribe to these companies’ services to access them on your 360. Sure, the Xbox can replace your cable box, but presumably you already have one of those. Microsoft seems to think that Kinect functionality will be the real draw, because apparently there’s such a huge culture of people who are so excited by the novelty of voicing what show they want to watch that they’ll buy a 360 and Kinect just to do it. What’s so wrong with a good old-fashioned remote?

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While this developer diary does demonstrate some unique game-mechanics, I fear that many will see this as just another zombie game. But you’d be doing yourself a disservice to dismiss dis game like dat.

What’s really interesting about Amy is that the title character is an autistic little girl that you have to protect in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. You lead her around the world by hand, Ico style, and instead of fighting your flesh-eating foes, you can only run or hide. Story and characters are said to be a major focus for Amy, and I have to say that I’m certainly eager to see if developer VectorCell can craft a mature and meaningful narrative given their unorthodox characters (at least in the video game world). Look for this downloadable title on the PSN before year’s end.

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Pay no heed to those 8.5s and 9.0s. The presence of SotC alone makes this a 10.0, especially at the low, low price of $40. You heard that straight from the horse’s Agro’s mouth. Now drop whatever you’re doing and go take advantage of this colossal value!

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Given that Uncharted is just about the most cinematic video game experience out there, I happen to find the headline very fitting, thank you very much!

But all silliness aside, Uncharted 3 looks pretty amazing. I don’t think there’s another video game out there that’s as fun to watch; we can only hope it plays as well. Now enjoy the video below to see how that wily treasure hunter got himself in the conundrum above.

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Not really my cup of tea, but there’s certainly a lot going on on-screen at once with no lag. That’s about as complimentary as I’ll get.

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Well, I don’t know if I’d describe an airplane’s retracting landing gear as cozy, but some people might. Personally, I prefer the kind of cozy going on in the Golden Abyss trailer below. Either way, you’re getting an incredible looking game that’ll probably be more entertaining than 95% of adventure films from the past twenty years.

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