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So Assassin’s Creed III is going to put us in the memories of Desmond’s most recent relative, twin brother Nathan Drake, right? What’s that you say? Their voices are only so similar because Nolan North must be blackmailing people to get voice-acting leads for two of the biggest franchises in the industry?

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But we all know that Ubisoft doesn’t make Assassin’s Creed trailers without a healthy dose of dub-step and an overabundance of stabbing…

This one’s getting a little warmer, but it’s still not quite right.

Ah, there we go. Do you think the developers will ever make fun of themselves by putting part of a Desmond mission in a rave house like the blood-rave in Blade II?

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And here’s a proof-of-concept video to give an idea of what to expect when the series returns after a five year hiatus. Can’t say that I’m happy about that weird X-ray vision stuff and the apparent lack of tactics and/or squad commands, but the moral gray area Ubisoft Montreal is tackling looks absolutely riveting. Could we finally get a game comparable to the intensity of 24?

And of course this is only a small slice of what Patriots might eventually be. In the official announcement, Ubisoft creative director David Sears promises that “In Tom Clancy’s Rainbow 6 Patriots, all the team play, tactics, and realism that fans of the series love have been coupled with an exciting new narrative direction. This adds an unprecedented level of humanity that will make Tom Clancy’s Rainbow 6 Patriots an extremely tense and immersive experience.” Team-focused co-op and competitive play are also said to be a part of the title, so maybe there’s hope yet. but given the current state of the game industry, I’ll wait until I see team commands and squad tactics to believe any of this.

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Sometimes I wonder if “stabbing dudes” was a distinguishing feature of the series in the initial design document. The trailers certainly seem to suggest that you’re playing the game wrong if blood isn’t spilling every five seconds. And thanks to a robust arsenal of bombs, painting the town red will be easier than ever for Ezio!

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Is it just me, or does it seem like Ubisoft has been releasing a trailer for this game at least once (if not more) a week? I mean, the game’s more than a month from being released and I’m already getting burnt out on it. Regardless of all that though, this here trailer highlights the two reasons I’m still excited about Assassin’s Creed: Revelations: story and stabbing.

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This is essentially the E3 trailer, but with a friendly story summary instead of overly dramatic music. Do you think Ezio will have Da Vinci do sketches of him making silly faces at all the tourist hot spots? The concept art of my dreams, friends. Of my dreams…

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It would appear as if Ubisoft has teamed up with Harmonix to forge some sort of ground-breaking beat-based assassination system. It doesn’t make much sense to me, but I’m all for more electronica-infused slow motion in video games.

What’s that? This isn’t what the game will actually sound like? Hmmm…well, I guess it looks, umm…how is this different from Brotherhood‘s multiplayer?

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When will we discover the answers, Ezio!?! I just need to know whether you die of a steaming hot blade through the gut or an untreated case of syphilis because you’re such a whore. Now can I haz AC III, pleez?

Note: Having never played AC: Brotherhood, I’m unsure of whether Ezio’s womanizing escapades from AC II continue or not. I’m really just making a harsh judgment based on like one cut-scene, but I just know that beneath his sexy accent, Ezio is a real scum bag. Unless AC III is going to feature a female protagonist (please), I want no sex appeal in my Assassin’s Creed heroes! These are video games gosh darn it! Men are supposed to blow things up while women defy gravity with the enormity of their breasts!

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Oh, my! It’s up to you to spend the $10 Ubisoft is asking for “The Da Vinci Disappearance” pack in order to save the beloved renaissance-man. The ensuing adventure will take place over eight missions and offer two new locations in addition to two new gameplay features. There is also a high probability of Hermeticist killing, as that’s the cult that decided to kidnap your old painter pal.

And once you’ve served up some cold justice in the single-player portion, you can take the fight to multiplayer with “one new map, four new characters and two new game modes.” Ubisoft was even kind enough to describe this portion of the add-on for us:

The new multiplayer map, Alhambra, is a lush environment set in Spain’s Albaicin of Granada and provides multileveled indoor and outdoor areas perfect for predators to lurk in the dense crowd for unsuspecting targets. The four new characters will undoubtedly be a huge hit with Assassin’s Creed fans, consisting of the Dama Rossa, the Knight, the Marquis and the Pariah. The two new gameplay modes, Escort and Assassinate, will provide a whole new gameplay experience for Brotherhood players. In Escort mode, two teams of four players compete in this team-based mode where each team must protect their VIP target or assassinate the other team’s VIP. In Assassinate mode, six to eight players are pitted against each other deathmatch style in one ten minute round.

Sort of sounds like stuff I would have assumed was already in the game, but I suppose it’ll no longer be a misinformed assumption when the new DLC releases in March!

Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood Finally Gets New Single Player Content [Kotaku]

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