“You don’t win the battle by doing what’s right. You win by doing what’s necessary.” Gee golly, I sure can’t wait to unlock the mustard gas perk after 3-starring the torture section! I mean seriously, does Ubisoft not realize what a huge field day the media could have with a trailer like this? Frankly, I wouldn’t even blame them. This is nothing short of gadget porn that glorifies dehumanizing technology with the power to kill.

I’m not some liberal lunatic denouncing all acts of war or media depictions of them, but I am a person who’s getting real sick of waiting for “Mature” titles to live up to their branding. But hey, the developers don’t even seem to have a full understanding of the “ghost” concept, so I guess I’ll cut their ignorance some slack.

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Remember when Cody and I told you to go play Beyond Good and Evil HD and Outland? Well, if for some reason you were able to resist our compelling arguments and charming personalities, you now have a second chance.

Gamerzines reports that a listing on Play.com outs an Ubisoft “Triple Pack” that combines BG&E HD, Outland, and From Dust in a retail package for the PS3 and Xbox 360. Play.com has a pre-order price of £14.99, which equates to roughly $23. There’s been no official confirmation from Ubisoft, but if that price point is correct, this could be one of the snazziest deals around.

On the HD collection front, Naughty Dog has announced that the collection of the first three games in their pre-Nathan Drake series, Jak and Daxter, will be arriving on February 7th in North America and February 22nd in Europe. Three of last generation’s finest Action-Platformers rendered in 720p and featuring stereoscopic 3D can be had for the very reasonable price of $39.99, or £39.99 if you live in the more civilized regions of the world.

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Slashing their throat with a machete? Check. Bludgeoning them in the back of the head with your pistol? Check. Shooting them with a hunting bow and then ripping the arrow from their cold, dead corpse? Check. Kicking them into a bottomless pit of despair? Check.

You too can experience all the fun of gritty post-apocalyptic combat during the XBLA House Party, starting February 15th.

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Before we move on to how out of touch Microsoft’s marketing people are (oh, there’s a trailer below that will blow your mind), let us first discuss the game featured in the above video–I Am Alive. The title’s development struggles have been well documented and there’s certainly reason for concern when we stop to consider that it shifted developers mid-development and transformed from a full-fledged retail game to a downloadable title. And that gameplay does look a little rough around the edges in the graphical department. But I can honestly say that Ubisoft Shanghai’s take on the post-apocalypse is one of my most anticipated games of the year. It’s just fundamentally different from nearly every other game on the market today, and in this humble writer’s hopes, has the potential to revolutionize video games’ take on the post-apocalypse in a very positive way. So dude: seriously, just buy it.

“But when does it come out!?!” you ask. Well, friend, the unfortunate truth is that none of the games in Microsoft’s House Party 2012 have been given firm release dates yet, but if we go by last year’s standards, then late February seems like a good starting point. I would also wager that the house Bill Gates built has some sort of timed exclusivity on I Am Alive if it’s being included in this promotion.

But as you’ll see in the video below, it isn’t much of a party with only one guest. That’s why Microsoft has also invited Alan Wake’s American Nightmare, Warp, and Nexuiz to do what video games to best and boogie down to terrible music in drug-free raves.

Wait…that’s not what video games do best? That’s not even what video gamers do best? But how could Microsoft’s demographic research be wrong? How?

Alan Wake’s American Nightmare, I Am Alive part of XBLA’s ‘House Party 2012′ [Joystiq]

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Is not “Don’t talk about I Am Alive.” Though, given the game’s long development cycle, they certainly could have been operating under that rule for a while.

I Am Alive‘s focus on survival above all else is just so different from everything else out there that I can’t help but be excited for it. I’m tired of shooting everything that moves and being the hero all the time. I do worry that it might be hard to support an entire game on that concept alone, but maybe that’s why it’s a downloadable title. We’ll see soon enough as the game is set to be released “this winter.”

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Everybody loves rumor time! So let’s start with that shaky-cam video above. The blurry concept art you see is allegedly from Beyond Good & Evil 2. The gentlemen speakers you hear are Ubisoft’s Michel Ancel and Jordan Mechner. The hopes and dreams you feel stirring in the depths of your soul are shared by all fans of quality gaming.

Now, BG&E2 isn’t exactly a secret. In fact, Mr. Ancel has even confirmed that he’s still actively working on the title (although the team did take time off to do Rayman Origins). It’s been hinted at in the past that we probably won’t be seeing Jade’s next adventure until the next generation of consoles. So what’s the good news here? Well, for starters, if Ubisoft Montpellier is holding conferences for the the title, then we can undoubtedly assume that development has resumed. Also, and more importantly, skipping ahead to 4:50 in the video reveals that the incredible leaked gameplay footage from a couple years back is indeed legit. Nathan Drake only wishes he were that fluid and cinematic. Lastly, the focus on an Indian-style setting and culture, with a specific emphasis on the intertwining of “modern and traditional ways of life” sounds like a very promising narrative set-up. Between this and Half-Life 2: Episode 3, my list of “games that are way too distant for me to get excited about but I’m going to anyway” is painting a very bright future in my head.

But that’s not all, fans of criminally under-appreciated last-gen games! Recent comments from Rockstar’s Dan Houser have led to speculation that upon completing Max Payne 3 in March, Rockstar Vancouver (the main team at work on that game) will return to their critically acclaimed Bully for a sequel. Perhaps with all of the recognition Rockstar has gained this generation, Bully 2 could actually get the reception it deserves.

Lastly, there’s a rather complicated rumor involving a LinkedIn profile which suggests that the new title BioWare is set to announce at this year’s VGAs will be part of the Command & Conquer franchise. Technically, it’s feasible, but one look at the only official teaser image we have raises some serious doubts about that.

I guess we’ll just have to wait ’til the VGAs on December 10th to find out for sure.

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So Assassin’s Creed III is going to put us in the memories of Desmond’s most recent relative, twin brother Nathan Drake, right? What’s that you say? Their voices are only so similar because Nolan North must be blackmailing people to get voice-acting leads for two of the biggest franchises in the industry?

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Interested in Ubisoft’s highly acclaimed Rayman Origins but not so sure you’re ready to drop a whole $60 on it? Try out the demo to get a taste of the wacky art direction, blissful Platforming, and the best music I’ve heard in a video game since…ever?

Rayman Origins demo due next week [Joystiq]

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But we all know that Ubisoft doesn’t make Assassin’s Creed trailers without a healthy dose of dub-step and an overabundance of stabbing…

This one’s getting a little warmer, but it’s still not quite right.

Ah, there we go. Do you think the developers will ever make fun of themselves by putting part of a Desmond mission in a rave house like the blood-rave in Blade II?

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