Some folks might be excited by the mere prospect of flying in The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, but what would you say if you could stuff that bird full of rupees and watch him grow some jet engines? Hold that thought.

I’m pretty sure that’s not actually in the game, so don’t bother squealing with glee like you surely were planning to. However, according to the final minutes of the video below, Link will be able to upgrade items like his shield, beetle, and more. Maybe the beetle will sprout some jet engines.

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There has been a metric gigabyte worth of inconsequential video game news this week. Of course, that metric system can get rather confusing, so allow me to do the converting for you: not eight, not ten, but nine trivial news stories lie beyond the break for you, the gamer who doesn’t know the meaning of “too informed.”

Rumor: Nintendo dropping Wii price to $150 on May 15th
The date doesn’t make so much sense to me, what with E3 providing the perfect announcement opportunity less than a month after the alleged date, but a price cut does seem reasonable for a console that’s routinely being outsold by the competition these days.

Frank West Regains The Lead Role In Dead Rising 2: Off The Record, A Surprising Remake
In a somewhat perplexing move, Capcom has decided to re-imagine Dead Rising 2, less than seven months old, with Dead Rising 1‘s beloved Frank West replacing the sequel’s protagonist, Chuck Greene. The changes extend to both gameplay and story, so it’s certainly more substantial than some new skins, but the whole idea is very strange, to say the least. Is this some sort of cost-cutting maneuver that will enable the developer to make a third sequel without having to create the assets for a new setting?

Rumor: Free-to-Play Games Coming to Xbox Live
A “trusted source” tells IGN that F2P games will be making their way to XBL “sometime next year.” This has the potential to be cool, and rather game-changing for the industry’s current business model, but in reality, it will probably amount to underutilized shovelware.

Are You Ready for Ads in Your Achievements?
This is nothing more than a business pitch at this point, but you have to think that somebody is going to try this out. Essentially, it offers real-world rewards through achievements while advertising the companies that give these rewards. Pass for four touchdowns in a game of Madden and get a free Big Mac at your local McDonalds. In theory, it doesn’t sound so bad, but the potential for this to go horribly, horribly wrong in practice is what’s more likely to happen. Not to mention, I can’t see the industry’s more respectable developers letting advertising into their games.

LA Noire to feature PS3-exclusive content, ‘Consul’s Car Traffic Case’
Another throw-away exclusive case that in all likelihood will end up in a DLC pack with the disparate pre-order exclusives a couple months from now. Does anybody care? Wait…I think I know one guy.

Call of Duty: Black Ops Escalation DLC due May 3
You already know everything you need to know without clicking the link.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D Gets A Release Date
And that date would be–drum roll–June 19th. Give us Skyward Sword now, please.

Twisted Metal exploding Oct. 4
I don’t get the appeal of this game at all. I guess you have to be kind of twisted for it to appeal to you. Get it? Twisted! Har, har, har har, har.

New Tony Hawk game likely for 2012
Unless it’s set on the moon, I don’t care. Tony Hawk games were never realistic, so I don’t know why Activision likes to pretend they are.

And that’s all folks. Maybe there will be something worth it’s own headline next week!

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Yup…looking about the same as what we saw at E3. Sure would be nice if Nintendo would put this thing out sometime soon so we could all get our hands on it and test out the Motion-Plus enhancements ourselves. Too bad it probably won’t release ’til the fall.

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Of all the Nintendo franchises hopping into the third dimension with the company’s latest hand-held, you might have noticed one that’s missing. But have no fear! Toward the end of an interview with Nintendo President Satoru Iwata, Shigeru Miyamoto reveals that the pudgy plumber from the depths of his imagination will be appearing on the 3DS in an all new game.

Miyamoto failed to provide any release window for Mario’s latest outing, but he did say that “I want to show everyone as soon as possible what the new Super Mario Bros. will be like on the Nintendo 3DS.” I think I speak for us all when I say that I can hardly contain my excitement at the prospect of running a stylus over that thick, bushy, 3D mustache.

But if you hold some sort of ignorant grudge against all Italian plumbers because of some personal incident you suffered involving a missing plate of spaghetti, then perhaps Kirby is more to your liking. You’re probably not thinking very much if that’s the case, but that doesn’t change the fact that a new, more traditional Kirby game is in development at HAL Laboratory. You’ll be able to “inhale enemies, spit them out, and morph” to your heart’s content at some point later this year, given you own a Wii. It’s probably better that we don’t see that sort of carnage in 3D.

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This game looks so fast paced. It’s ridiculous. Fans of difficult platforming rejoice!

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Also, why do monkeys like bananas so much?

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Skip to 1:20 if you want to get right to the gameplay. To be honest, this action looks a little lack-luster to me. It doesn’t look anywhere near as fun as the traditional side-scrolling platform elements in the game. Still, I’m willing to give it the benefit of the doubt considering how appealing the game has looked to me thus far.

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Seriously. It deserves your dollars. It’s one of the few good looking third-party Wii titles. Buy it. Make use of that little white box that’s been collecting dust since Super Mario Galaxy 2.

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Seriously, stop making me want your game, Warren Spector! I don’t have the money to buy a Wii.

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