Some people call it Quantum Conundrum. As the video above shows, it’s pretty easy to see how Swift’s experience working on Portal has influenced this upcoming downloadable title. I wouldn’t even be surprised to see hidden extras linking the two games; a fluffy GLaDOS, perhaps?

Well, anyway, you can look forward to “safe surfing” sometime in early 2012 for Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network, and the PC. Just remember: it’s only safe until a fluffy shark smells the dead baby seals in your safe. Yeah, your uncle is that guy.

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Before we move on to how out of touch Microsoft’s marketing people are (oh, there’s a trailer below that will blow your mind), let us first discuss the game featured in the above video–I Am Alive. The title’s development struggles have been well documented and there’s certainly reason for concern when we stop to consider that it shifted developers mid-development and transformed from a full-fledged retail game to a downloadable title. And that gameplay does look a little rough around the edges in the graphical department. But I can honestly say that Ubisoft Shanghai’s take on the post-apocalypse is one of my most anticipated games of the year. It’s just fundamentally different from nearly every other game on the market today, and in this humble writer’s hopes, has the potential to revolutionize video games’ take on the post-apocalypse in a very positive way. So dude: seriously, just buy it.

“But when does it come out!?!” you ask. Well, friend, the unfortunate truth is that none of the games in Microsoft’s House Party 2012 have been given firm release dates yet, but if we go by last year’s standards, then late February seems like a good starting point. I would also wager that the house Bill Gates built has some sort of timed exclusivity on I Am Alive if it’s being included in this promotion.

But as you’ll see in the video below, it isn’t much of a party with only one guest. That’s why Microsoft has also invited Alan Wake’s American Nightmare, Warp, and Nexuiz to do what video games to best and boogie down to terrible music in drug-free raves.

Wait…that’s not what video games do best? That’s not even what video gamers do best? But how could Microsoft’s demographic research be wrong? How?

Alan Wake’s American Nightmare, I Am Alive part of XBLA’s ‘House Party 2012′ [Joystiq]

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Well, actually I imagine the process is rather unpleasant for all parties involved, but this gameplay footage of Shank 2 does its darnedest to convince me otherwise. Look for this sequel to 2010′s cooperative brawler to hit XBLA, PSN, and PC at some point in “early 2012.”

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“The middle of the first quarter of 2012,” specifically. And if the video below is any indication, then the core gameplay should be a lot more fun than its predecessor.

“Fight till Dawn” is a standard survival mode that sees you shooting for a high score, and it’s not even multiplayer, but that doesn’t take away from the excitement of so many new enemy types. At its heart, Alan Wake is a Third-Person Shooter, and Remedy seems to have learned from their mistakes in the series’ initial title with this new emphasis on combat variety. Of course, they’re still failing to innovate with the franchise’s signature aesthetic, but maybe American Nightmare‘s campaign has some intensely crafted set-pieces that use light in interesting ways and Remedy simply doesn’t want to spoil them. Either way, it looks like Mr. Wake is finally improving the gameplay mechanics that go with his foreboding writing.

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It seems like Spike TV’s Video Game Awards are quickly becoming the biggest video game show this side of E3, what with Skyrim, Mass Effect 3, and more getting their official reveals there last year. And if Spike TV executive producer Geoff Keighley’s recent tweets are to be believed (and I see no reason why they shouldn’t be), this year’s show could be just as eventful.

Keighley says that Alan Wake will be making an appearance as a downloadable Xbox Live Arcade game subtitled Night Springs, after the first game’s in-universe, Twilight Zone-esque TV hit. Microsoft’s Larry “Major Nelson” Hryb has since confirmed this. The folks at Remedy (Alan Wake‘s developer) have also come out to assure fans that just because the title’s downloadable doesn’t mean it won’t play like a full-fledged AAA game. The first game certainly showed potential through some lackluster game-mechanics, so I’d say this is good news.

But the better news is Keighley’s claim that “The truth about Metal Gear Solid: Rising will finally be revealed at 2011 VGAs by Hideo Kojima.” We’ve heard nor seen next to nothing since Rising‘s jaw-dropping E3 2010 demo, so any news is welcome. However, the game’s presence at the show has yet to be confirmed by Konami.

Lastly, Keighley teases us with the idea of BioWare revealing “a new game from a new studio.” If the reveal’s happening at the VGAs, I’d imagine it’s got to be a big time game. Jade Empire big? One can hope…and hope…and hope.

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The bad news first. For crying out loud! The bad news should be that it is friggin’ IMPOSSIBLE to find lifetime sales figures for Braid on XBLA and Steam, respectively. I suppose that news isn’t so bad for you, but for a guy trying to make a point about the large market Jonathan Blow will be losing by limiting his next game, The Witness, to a PC and iOS release, it’s mildly irritating.

But yeah, Blow seems to think that consoles are “too old” to support his $2 million “indie” title. Me thinks it has more to do with him not being the biggest fan of Microsoft’s certification processes. Personally, I think a little extra work is worth the boat-loads of extra cash XBLA and PSN would surely net Mr. Blow. I have to wonder if Braid‘s wild success has gone to the man’s head. At what point does one stop being “indie”? Perhaps when he increases his development budget by ten times and just assumes that enough PC gamers will give up pirating to help his precious little title turn a profit? Maybe I’m just being bitter because my piece of junk PC probably won’t be able to run this, but come on, dude. Suck up your pride and bring your game to a wider audience.

Now I don’t want to have you feeling all blue with this news, so I think I’ll let you in on a little secret: Valve has official altered the Earth’s orbit around the sun in order to make Portal 2‘s free “Peer Review” DLC fit into the Summer release window that’s repeatedly been promised. And by that I mean that PC gamers and console gamers alike can download the pack this Tuesday, October 4th.

According to GameSpot, “The pack continues the cooperative adventures of P-Body and Atlas, who will ultimately take on GLaDOS in a new test track. The pack also includes a Challenge mode playable both in single-player and co-op, as well as leaderboard support.”

Keeping the good October 4th news rolling is the XBLA and PSN release of formerly PC-exclusive hit Crysis. $20 will net you a remastered version of the game with “new lighting effects, optimized controls, and stereoscopic 3D support.” The only downside is that the re-release only includes the single-player campaign. That doesn’t seem like a terrible concession to me.

Looking further out at important release dates, we can now expect thatgamecompany’s Journey to arrive at its digital destination sometime in “Spring 2012.” That’s one game that I’m looking forward to intently.

And in hazier release windows–that are no less anticipated, mind you–we have our first word on what the Gears of War 3 campaign DLC might be like. According to a NeoGAF post by none other than CliffyB, “No, it won’t be the graphic novel, but it will have all new campaign content that doesn’t have Marcus, Dom, Cole and Baird in it. Expect Barrick and more…” “Barrick” refers to one Michael Barrick, star of Gears’ first graphic novel. Going off of how he looks in that link, I’m gonna have to say that this DLC will be BATSHIT CRAZY…for lack of a better term.

But that’s not all, folks. Entering that realm of delicious unconfirmed rumors, we find the possibility of leaked plot details for Dead Space 3. Word has it that there will be a cold and snowy mountain setting. Whether that mountain blasts into space and becomes a star-faring vessel to maintain the series’ M.O. is up for debate, but I’d like to think that it’s certainly a possibility.

And lastly, in news that isn’t really news, there’s a high likelihood that hit RPG The Witcher 2 will receive a sequel and maybe even an expansion at some point in the future.

Well, I hope you’re all filled up, because I’m fresh out of news. And even if I had more, I’m not some freak who placates my hunger with incorporeal words, and my tummy’s rumblin’. Time to go snack on some scrumptious little nippers!

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Moving too quickly for anyone to stop and question its illogical name! Or its illogical cross-platform play, for that matter; those poor XBLA players won’t have a chance against mouse and keyboard.

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Kim Swift, one of the co-creators of the original Portal, has been working away in a secretive fortress of fluffiness since leaving Valve in late 2009, and the fruits of her labors have finally been revealed as Quantum Conundrum.

I’m not sure how I feel about the seemingly kiddie narrative it’s going with (Portal might be kid-friendly, but it’s certainly aimed at adults), but the gameplay mechanics certainly look like an interesting spin on the first-person puzzle-solving Swift made her name with. I’m especially interested in seeing the more advanced puzzles that surely call for multiple dimension shifts in real-time. We’ll all get the chance to experience those levels for ourselves when the game releases on Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network, and PC in early 2012.

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The port will be coming to iOS, Android, and Windows Mobile devices as well. That’s about all we know. That’s really all we need to know.

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It’s like Crimson Skies, but ridiculously pretty. It’s even better if you mute the video and do away with that awful voice-over. You’ll have a chance to pump this steam-punk world full of lead sometime this winter on Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network.

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